How / Why did Rakhi trend – A case study

August 3, 2009 at 11:55 pm | Posted in arbit, criticism, fakereviews, humour, Internet, spam, Technical, twitter, Visions | 10 Comments
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I assume that most of you are still recovering from last night’s events. Totally surreal stuff, I must say. Triple Baaraats, 3 grooms , 2 idiot MC’s and of course the multiplee talented Rakhi Sawant. A by-product of this whole ruckus was that India witnessed yet another trending topic [after #indiavotes09 etc ]

This was a pretty interesting experience to watch, as well as to participate in, as one could clearly see the effect of opinion snowballing, and mass-hysteria eventually taking over.

This is all I can say about ‘why’ did Rakhi trend. Well you see, ‘ The human mind is a complex system, and…”.

Oh, ditch that. It’s the ‘how’ that’s explainable.

So, how did Rakhi Madamji muster so much mojo?

Well, the obvious answer has to got to be – “due to a lot of tweets in a short timeframe”.

For the uninitiated, I’ll provide the same background that I wrote on http://whatthetrend.com/trend/Rakhi [ which incidentally, is a wonderful site to know why a topic is trending on twitter. So the next time you see something like “Cash for Clunkers” or ” Bob Saget’s gone bonkers” trending on twitter, you know where to look for answers ]

Rakhi Sawant is an Indian film actress who participated in a Reality Show on National Television (Channel – NDTV Imagine) called “Rakhi Ka Swayamvar” to select a bridegroom for her. In the Final show aired tonight (2-aug-2009), she selected “Elesh Parujanwala” from Canada as her husband to be.

[ I’d throw in an image but for the fact that I couldn’t find a single decent picture, and even among the bhajan variety, there were none with a Creative commons license. Perverts, please search here ]

So, with this much info, lets dive into some statistics.

[ Note: ATPS – Average Tweets Per Second ]

The show started at around 9.00 p.m [ I.S.T], and for the initial 10 minutes the tweet flow was quite slow, at around 5 ATPS ]

Soon, some celebrities [or  twittebrities, if that floats your boat ],  joined in the action, and all hell broke loose. Some samples.

gulpanag

[ Ah, the marvels of good liquor ]

pritish_nandy

[ Sums up the nation’s opinion with this tweet ]

Soon enough, the twitter universe was flooded with retweets, ” what the eff ” ‘s, <brain explodes>, ‘shoot me. shoot me now‘ ‘s , on one end.

Not to be perturbed by this, the positive Rakhi Chee forces retaliated with tweets like ” Go Elesh“, ” I’d marry Elesh, He’s cho cute“, ” OMG, Rakhi Sawant looks so hot  ya“.

But it was mostly the apathetic crowd that both cheered and jeered [ I know that doesn’t make sense on many levels, but work with me on this ], that was the peach of the tweetset. Sample these.

shaaqt

[ Witty that one ]

schmmuck

[‘Main is Desh ka damaad Hoon’, but in a canadian accent. Sounds vaguely familiar]

By this time [ around 9.30 p.m], the term was buzzing on Twittscoop at around 10 ATPS. The next best term was “Shark week” at 30 ATPS, which had already started to trend. So, on an a normal day with not much news happening [ no plane crashes, no celebrity deaths, no white police / afro-american professor drinking chilled beers with the U.S president ], we can make a decent speculation that there has to be atleast 30 ATPS for a topic to trend.

This by itself is no mean feat, so Kudos to Rakhi for keeping us glued to the telly. Assume that the average twitterer, even in the heights of their frenzy tweets about 1 tweet per 10 minutes.

[ The power twitterer does about 1 tweet in 2 minutes say, and the other twitterer who’s just an innocent bystander,just pops in to say ” Oh, why’s this topic trending”. say 1 tweet per 30 minutes].

In some universe with a favourable averaging scheme, the number 1 tweet in 10 minutes figures, and I’ll use that.

To achieve a critical state of 30 ATPS, for say about an hour, for the trend to be noticed, we’d need,

1 person can tweet 1 tweet in 10 minutes = 1 / 600 ATPS

x people need to tweet 30  tweets in 1 second. 30 ATPS

So, assuming an equal distribution of tweeting in the timeframe, we needed about 18000 people to start the trend, which is quite reasonable and achievable, since there around 25 million twitter users globally out of which around 2% are Indian, [1] [2], which makes it a potential 500,000 Indian users.

This was the tweet density for yesterday. This is what a one-time-wonder trend looks like.

rakhi_sawant_tweet_density

So, as you can notice, ‘rakhi’ was in the limelight for around 2 hours[ mentally visualize chopping off the curve where the height reaches 30 ]

[ graph courtesy: Twittscoop ]

There were some obvious side-effects of this inane exercise. People not used to seeing their twitter stream getting littered like this, got extremely pissed off, and started issuing death threats in all possible directions. Sample.

andi

[ My my, such strong emotions. Now you know how provocative Rakhi’s aura can be ]

So, in conclusion. Bah, easy peasy work. We can make anything trend, given enough determination, teamwork and resolute joblessness.

Hum honge #kaamyaab ek din. [ Loosely translates to ” May the #manForce be with you” ]

P.S: Respect to all the twitterers featured in this post. I come in peace. Don’t shoot the messenger.

N-Blox Reloaded…

January 20, 2009 at 12:29 am | Posted in arbit, chappar, criticism, Ethics, Internet, nitk, protocol, Visions | Leave a comment
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Not exactly a post. [ Ergo, something better.]
/***************************************************************************************************/
[Btw, My hiatus is surprisingly, not due to a writer’s block. This is your chance. Enjoy while it lasts…For be warned, Soon, I’ll be back. With my regular doses of textual – harassment. Phew, I can’t be booked for that] /************************************************************************************************/
My love for tetris has been documented pretty well over here. So I’ll not kutch further.

I discovered N-Blox some days ago, when chappar , wanting to get some cheap highs, was looking at psychedelic visuals on this site. And sent it to me.

Turns out Paul Neave is a brilliant Flash designer, with a passion for Retro games. Kewl. And I found Tetris. Blissh.

The gameplay is superb[ Considering that there’s not much scope for innovation]. But as it turns out, Neave is a bit of a N*gger [ Southpark fundaes]. With the sole intent of pissing off fans, he sets out and puts a score_reset which is called at the stroke of midnight.

I could think of only a few possible excuses that he could have.

  • Probably to save on diskspace of the scores.txt file. [Wtf]
  • To give every newbie a chance to figure on the highscore board. Turns out they already do. Through simple,stupid, “Injection” techniques. [Come on, Man you…]
  • “It’s my game.”  “Respect Mah Authoritah“…[ Awesome ]

Well, the third reason seemed the most logical, and we laud his spunk n all that, but we didn’t like it in principle. He could have at least given people the source code and allow us to tinker with it. But that’s his choice and we respect that.

But, we did want the game.

So, The php whiz from college, and myself, tweaked around the flash file for a while to send the scores to a different location. And the php to receive, process the scores at this remote location, and send back the results back to the flash file. No edits to the gameplay/graphics. Honest.

Did someone miss a beat? Never mind, Let me beat you again.

Me n php? Ha ha…

Well, truth be told, he did both of those. Great work dude, and btw, the Inci site rocks, as usual.

And me, with my stupendous Html skills, set up an oldschool website, which is approximately Web 0.2. So, enjoy Nblox on the site shown below ( while it lasts), and u get to post ur highscore as well.

So, without much ado, here’s N-Blox Reloaded peoples…

Phree Publicity: Check out http://byethost.com/   Free, and Hassle-free webhosting, with php support, and nice technical support as well.

Vista – On the Rocks. Azure in the Clouds…

October 28, 2008 at 11:24 pm | Posted in arbit, criticism, humour, sarcasm, Technical, Visions | Leave a comment
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Seeing this brilliant piece of satire by America’s Finest news Source – The Onion News, made me think.

With Vista having chosen the Red Screen of Death , as its official time-please message , the devout and loyal fans of a much peaceful colour were very disappointed. Having to see the altogether familiar shade just on special occasions like the Beijing Olympics, did take its toll on an XP zealot.

BSOD was  ZOMG level in funnity. It was the zen in awesomeness. It unleashed previously unseen waves of creativity amongst the developers [ to use that time on a different OS, I must confess].

Anyways, here is the kinda froody things that you could do with them blue screens. [ Statutory Warning : Not safe for Work, especially if you’re at Microsoft]

bsod-fun 

Cheaply mashed from the following sources [1 ],[2].
Anyways, the point of this painstakingly researched article is to, waht-else, reveal a conspiracy theory of course…
The people at microsoft, ever so attentive to their customer needs, have heard our earnest pleas.
They are rolling out a new and improved version of BSOD on the clouds…Call it BSOD 2.0 if you must.
You don’t believe me, do you? I knew it. But I have ball-clinching evidence to this effect.
What do they name their Cloud computing OS as? What better a name to support my theory, than “AZURE”. [1 ],[2 ]

A reasonably accurate dictionary defines:
Noun: azure
1. A light shade of blue
Verb: azure
1. Colour azure
Adjective: azure
1. Of a deep somewhat purplish blue colour similar to that of a clear October sky.

The clues are out there, on the cloud .
See, don’t tell me that I didn’t warn you before.
Happy Computing. I’m on Cloud 7 already…

All Brevity.No Wit

October 28, 2008 at 8:31 am | Posted in arbit, humour, nitk, travel, Visions | 1 Comment
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It has been a phenomenal week.
We bludgeoned the aussies… Vishy is in a freakingly awesome form, having tricked kramnik through a queen pawn opening move that he rarely uses, and perfecting its nuances through various stages. ISRO made us proud by kickstarting the 2 year chandrayaan programme. This even got a prominent mention in one of obama’s campaign speeches. Which was lapped up by mr.nair, even though it was kinda meant to be in a derogatory context.
Sure, there are homegrown idiots who deny the importance of such an achievement.
Commies don’t want us racing with china. Most crankpots question the need to spend crores on what they feel is a non-practical space mission. See,this is just a scientific mission right? , is their argument.
STFU, is my counter argument.
I rest my case.

As usual, here is me wishing myself, big-boned N.R , Hillary ‘Dufus’ Clinton, and Raveena ‘once-ravishing-now-extinct’ Tandon, a very happy birthday…
Actually, checking on wikipedia ( A playground where I spend most of my days )
Certain cool things that have happened on October 26th ,
  • Maharaja of Kashmir acceding to join India.
  • Beatles were knighted.
  • A kid got a heart transplant from a baboon.
  • I can’t believe that the Ghajini female, Asin Thottumkal is exactly one year older.
  • small pox officially chucked out of the world..
  • I don’t have an entry in wiki yet, so can’t quote it…some time soon..
, I’m particularly peeved that the following things have happened on October 26th
  • Seth Mcfarlane –  The creator of Family guy [A long chain of stringed WTF’s ] came into existence. This chap’s only valid work of art is probably modelling peter griffin to look like royan…lol
  • chandrayaan didn’t launch on my b’day…sob sob.. Still, it’ll reach some prominent orbit location, and I’ll take solace with that.
  • i’m typing this post on my cell phone hence can’t research more.
    But i assure you, its been a friendly day in history. And as an ardent smoker of the peace-pipe, i welcome that.
so, That’s it.. Cheers to me. Now that i’m at home after yet another enlightening general compartment train journey, mom wants to drag me for temple tours. And with them being b’day formalities, i don’t wish to annoy her silly…adios

The Life and Works of Sir Takal…

August 24, 2008 at 2:08 pm | Posted in arbit, Bengaluru, chappar, criticism, Ethics, fakereviews, humour, literary, news wagon, nitk, poetry, Politics, sarcasm, Technical, travel, Visions | Leave a comment
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Drawing on this extensive article; the sole biography of Sir Takal in existence, I choose to limit myself, and write only about his magnificent works, with particular emphasis on some of his recent views about everything of consequence to the neo-modern chinese cult-societies in Bangalore.

Takal doesn’t read my blog, so I presume I am safe. [ Sincere apologies in advance ].

Inspirations: [ with the equivalent deft delicateness of Anu Malik ]

  • Appar’s exhilarating review of his best friend’s literary masterpiece.
  • A superb book review of “The 2007-2012 Outlook for Tufted Washable Scatter Rugs, Bathmats, and Sets That Measure 6-Feet by 9-Feet or Smaller in India” – the most scholarly book ever written in this field.

There are two kinds of literary critics in this world, one who totally adore Sir Takal’s succinct analogies, and metaphorical embellishments at times, and the others who haven’t read him yet. I proudly say that I belong to the first variety.

You see, when you read Takal ( a metonymic reference to something written by him ), you not only get the perception that the author is trying to convey an issue of importance, but also the subtle realization of the deeper meaning that this exalted mind offers.

Through innumerous surreal examples, chiefly drawn from the author’s experience with life, and his in-depth knowledge of the Bengalurean city-life, as well as his profound insights on global politics[ with a categorical expertise centered around topics related to the Chinese and Tibetan domain ], Takal clearly convinces of a dark and shady conspiracy that the system[ The Indian Government ], is running in the background of a hazy “India Shining” campaign.

Some Excerpts, and a Detailed as well as a Figurative analysis :-

  • I don’t know why I wrote this post. It is bad. Or may be not . I am not sure. “  Never since The Tale of Two Cities, has a enantiosis, the figure of contraries, of this nature ever been displayed in English Literature.  Walking on both lines of the  paradoxical line, he gently prepares the reader for a tumultuous article ahead. He continues….
  • It was Friday. It was when I went to piss at 4 o’clock that day, that I saw that it was a haze of grey outside . Well, with only work in my mind, I went back and hardly gave a thought to the heavy rain. ” – Metaphors be damned. This is God himself writing. When was the last time you had such a phantasmagoric visual treat lined up for you[ In the most literary, straightest sense possible ].
  • “Well, when I came back home, another shitty thing happened. Power went off.” – A powerful, yet hidden message to the Yeddy government.
  • “ And it is the engineer’s duty to do everything at the last moment. So, thinking I had all the time in the world, I disregarded the increasingly heavy rain, and started to play candle-lit carrom with Kela.” – Inspirational substance, and a brief hint at an on-going romance.
  • “I went and saw to my horror that there were only girlie umbrellas available. But, when I searched properly I did find some black umbrellas. So, I decided to buy it. But wait, I saw the label, and here it was for 667 rupees only. Well, with no time, and having more than a goat’s brain, I decided to adjust with a girlie umbrella for a day( which was available for 220 rupees), I got the umbrella.” – Sir Takal is a champion of the woman’s liberation movement, and he breaks all stereotypes, and urges the reader to do the same. Notice how he assigns a higher price to the “Black Umbrella”. Yes, you guessed it. Sir Takal loves the Afro-American Community as well. He is a maestro in the field of Zulu Dancing, though he is very coy about it.
  • “Thus, it should be clear that a torturer is a torturer, whatever language he speaks, and whatever country he belongs to. The driver was talking to people in singular whatever, I don’t remember the word. It was as if he thought he was the lord. It was as if he was enjoying the overcrowding of the bus. I realized what sadists felt like. He was feeling comfortable in his chair looking at the crowded bus. I felt what a concentration camp felt like, and I for the first time sympathized with the Jews, Borat notwithstanding.” – Just two words :- Drawing parallels between a BMTC ride and the Holocaust, Sir Takal takes the reader to an epochal period and drops him there. Also of importance are the tyrannical analogies of the bus-driver, who here is being compared to Adolf Hitler himself.   Did I say two words?.. Sorry. Couldn’t resist.

And this is just one of his works. Imagine the greatness of a man who has managed to put so many critical issues in such an eloquent manner.

I could go on an on, but I do not wish that the reader misses out on exploring Sir Takal all on their own. A chance that everyone must take.

Takal is a genre in itself. Kafkaesque creations seem pale in front of this divine force of literary grandeur.

Some blurbs from some more reputed sources:

  • “This is the 98956’th Indian Origin author that I have been asked to review. Please give me a break. God Damn it.” – Shashi Tharoor.
  • “To reduce such a richly diverse book to a couple of main themes is a disservice, for there is much here to reward the careful reader (notably two startlingly educative essays on the ancient roots of relations between India and China). Particularly pleasurable is Sir Takal’s masterly reclaiming of Rabindranath Tagore’s reputation from the unjust misjudgment of him in the West as a mediocre mystic poet rather than the rationalist and humanist genius and polymath Takal convincingly depicts. But — disservice aside — two principal arguments emerge from this collection: an affirmation of India’s political and cultural heterogeneity, and of the ‘reach of reason’ in India’s intellectual traditions.” – Shashi Tharoor on cannabis.
  • “I think of the glorious Tiananmen square days, when I read Sir Takal’s works.” – Long Dong, The Times of China. he continues, “Actually, I always think of those days.” ,he clarifies.
  • “I so adore Takal because he posts his articles mostly at the break of dawn. I love to wake up and read Takal, with the cup of coffee in my hand. WoW, Sir Takal. You’re totally on my favorites list. ” – Chetan Bhagat.
  • “Pardon me for this infantile indulgence, but pray allow me to savour the poetic mastery of Sir Takal. I fear that if I don’t quantify it into my already vast intellectual cache, I shall miss out on something very special, the stuff that mortals are faintly aware of.” – Noam Chomsky, not on cannabis.
  • “TB rules. TB is my hero. TB is GoD .” – Hashish, The Arizona Daily Star .
  • “Ashish to Ashes, Dust to Dust” – Sir Takal, The Davangere  Daily.

Normally I don’t recommend authors, but in his case, I doubly do so.

Venture into the unknown,

for there is where true beauty lies,

Do not miss this literary Oasis, O’ pensive traveller,

Not a shadow of doubt, I premise.

Well, You know, I tweet. Sometimes.

June 7, 2008 at 2:46 am | Posted in arbit, criticism, humour, narcissism, sarcasm, Technical, twitter, Visions | 4 Comments
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As you all are well-aware by now, there is this regularly dysfunctional site called Twitter which allows several critters like me to post the answer to the greatest question the human race has ever asked.
Which is……..
“What are you doing now”?
To be answered in 140 characters or less. Phew. Now, that’s a toughie.
If only it was as simple as the answer to life, universe, and everything.
Barring mundane, obscene,irrelevant, personal, and utterly inane tweets[ more on this annoying term later], a normal person would not find much to tweet about.
Thusly, twitter is out of business.

Wrong on two counts.

  • My assumption that people wouldn’t want to share such routine stuff.
  • And that the kind of people who refer to this act as tweeting are sensible to begin with.

Now, for their technical issues. For starters, they tried to do too many things at the same time.

  • web-service – good
  • Im service – good
  • Mobile-tweeting – good , so that you can say ” hey there is a monkey walking on the street”. I’m not sure which retard would actually write something like that. But their site says this is the single most important reason that led them to E-nable this feature.
  • Iphones[ no no.. they are not just cell-phones. They are I-PHONES], twitterfox, opera twitter gadgets. Heck, any text-entry mechanism ever-built has some twitter client attached to it by now. There was this kid, who tweets from his command line. I pity the fool.

All at once, with limited resources to handle it. Bad.
Well, all would have been fine. They didn’t expect one thing. You guessed it. The no. of users.
So, every now and then their service goes down. Which is more often than ever.

The irony of course lies in this aspect. There was this tiny little site run by this nice chap, with a well-defined purpose. That site of-course was, Is Twitter Down . Now I say ‘was’ because since the time twitter went comatose today, even this site has. You could call it the Slashdot-esque effect, . Wait, I’ve an even brilliant idea. You’ve been twitted . Ha ha….
“Is twitter down” is down? Hey, maybe I can open a new site to check that. But how far can we go in this stupid endeavour when the faults lie deep within Twitter.

So, gear up folks. Use that crisp 15million bucks to good effect.

For Pete’s sake. Let a man tweet.

Well, about tweet. This is one of the most annoying web2.0 terms that I’ve heard. However, its not something new. Guys who do similar stuff also have stupid names. Jaiku, Pownce
What’s it with micro-blogging and icky terms?

P.S: The author tweets at

twitter

Additional twitter information: Wiki , Killer-Apps [ Cho Tweet].
And a twit-toon.

One more, that asks me to politely stop this post.

Self-Spam

May 30, 2008 at 5:27 pm | Posted in arbit, criticism, humour, image processing, sarcasm, spam, Technical, Visions | 9 Comments
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A small technical exercise testing the effectiveness of gmail to combat spam, which on their site says “Fast, searchable email with less spam”.

This is true mostly. However, there is a downside to gmail spam filters w.r.t false-positives, i.e (filter mistakenly flags a good mail as spam)
These numbers are particularly high in case of gmail. I’m comparing it to, say using Spam-Assassin , or Akismet as your spam filter. I’ve had a sufficient number of good mails, not so useful, but not spam either-> which have been flagged off as spam.
This is unacceptable. In my case, I’ve the patience, and also a weird interest to go through my spam messages everday. But, busy people would consider this to be a “costly nuisance”.
The Nuisance is obvious. It’s also costly as the flagged message might have critical business information.
Most people however do not worry much about this. Because they trust their spam filters to weed out only the bad guys. As Matt Cutts of Google says about Google Search so elegantly,

“Sure,I could stop all the spam in the world if I didn’t have to return any search results.” 🙂 [source]

What people don’t like, however, is the appearance of { stimulating/enlarging/Nigerian King bequeathing his 100 million $ /cheap adobe software or Rolex-es / mortgage loans at unbelievable rates } mails in their inbox. This is totally irritating, and this does more damage to the lay-user than the previously mentioned almost-rare case.
Spam filters involve many techniques which are constantly under development. These chiefly include heuristic[ drawing from previous experiences, a learning method], bayesian filters, simple database matching, matching ip’s with regular spammers, and lots more involving complex probability/statistical models beyond my wildest dreams.
So, being the evil chap that I am, I did this nonsensical thing. I sent a spam mail to myself.

Self Spam
Granted, this is stupid. Gmail should place a trust on the sender[ me], and the sending server[gmail.com], and hence classify this as a legitimate mail.
So I repeated this exercise with a well-known email spoofer, www.pranketh.com . What this nifty project [written by two brilliant chaps from University of waterloo] does is pretty simple.
As the site says – “It allows you to send an email, that looks like its sent from someone else.” Or in simple terms.
I can send an email from id’s like mukeshambani[at]reliance[dot]in, or soniagandhirocks[at]congressrocks[dot]gov[dot]in.
[ note the delicate usage of “rocks”, Blogger belongs to google. I don’t want no risks]. A screenshot of pranketh’s page.
Pranketh Page
Yes. I know your doubt. If its so easy, why do nefarious miscreants use stupid yahoo/gmail id’s to threaten people, or send smokescreen bomb-footage, to the extremely retarded tv channel Aaj Tak[ self-proclaimed to be “Sarv-Shresht].
The point is the email server, folks. Your id is spoofed. But the smtp server name. No no. I couldn’t dream in my distant dreams to get a gov.in smtp[ Since I don’t happen to be a chinese (govt-sponsored) hacker 😦 ]. As a test case, try sending a prankethmail to your own id. And check the “original mail” option in gmail.
Ah. The post digresses from its core issue. Lets come back to the main point, shall we.
An important reason to gmail, not blocking my self-spam, was that it trusts my id, and its servers.
I tried sending the same text through pranketh. Guess what. It thrashes the mail left and right, before it even leaves their servers. Why?. They use Aksimet.
Pranketh Spam

My advice to gmail [ In the remotest probability that Matt Cutts is reading this,], and other mail providers is this.
Google’s servers are checking all our mail-contents for generating their automated ads and stuff anyways. So, there is no illusion of privacy. So, the next time, I’m sending a mail, check the contents before hand. Warn me if its spammish. Keep the thresholds appropriately such that I’m not regularly annoyed with these warnings.
If all smtp servers start this routine, we can see at least some major changes.

1. All the worlds emails would take a longer time to reach their destination. [ There’s got to be some catch.This is it]

2. Say I send one mail to a big bunch of people, it’d be scanned for spam-behaviour only once. Then some certification can be piggy-backed along, saying its reliable, and not spam. The experts can handle that bit. Not too difficult.

3. Botnets prevention. Say, some dumbo privately runs a smtp server, and has been been subjected to a backdoor/trojan attack. And this is currently acting as a zombie sending out bunch of viagrish mails to innocent people, who’ve left their email id’s lying out in the open.

I’m not saying you give up your earlier approach. That’d be foolish. But if its absolutely obvious that a mail is spammy[ self-spam for eg.]. Block it before it leaves your grounds.

Now, a general warning to all those who think spams are obnoxious. Your bigdaddydog@rediffmail.com might be the prettiest email id around. But don’t leave it on some arbit website, for all the world to see. One syntax-based text crawler and you get thousands of them.
Believe me, some of these spammers are millionaires[ Not the Nigerian kind]. And run their business professionally. And have awesome technical expertise too.
If anything, don’t make their job easier. Let them just fight it out with the big-guys[ yahoo, google, msft et al].

I reiterate. If you desperately want to put your email id on the net, use images like these.

email id
And, a word of caution. Even this is not safe. Within 1-2 years, google image search is going to search the contents in images. And character recognition. Piece of cake.
So, what do you do next. Do not fear, I have the ideas.
1. When you must, put your email id’s with re-captcha. I’d written a post about this some time back. My email id through this schema would be abhi@gmail.com .Go to their website and register for their free service. The only reason this idea is safe, however, is because Spammers, like all of us, are average-ramesh hard-working people. They do not have time to fill your captchas. Where as, your friends and people who want to see your email id so desperately, do.
2. Use images, but this time, write them with 3-d blocks. Even by extreme image processing hacking standards, this is nearly safe for 5-6 years.
3. Do not put email id’s on the internet.

This is probably the first in a series of spam-related posts to come.

P.S: I kinda remembered the first word of my blog’s title, and how I hadn’t paid any attention to it, for the past few months.

And, let me clarify. I love gmail.

Holiday Hoo-Hahs

May 23, 2008 at 4:20 pm | Posted in arbit, criticism, Ethics, humour, Linux, narcissism, Technical, travel, Visions | 7 Comments
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I’m a particularly strange person. I don’t like vacations. They seem to drag.
Especially the post-college-no social contact ones.
Makes me feel like a social retard. [ Nice post, dude].
Without much nonsensing, here’s some peculiarly interesting/irritating incidents that happened over the past few weeks.

I arrive back from college. Mom’s lambasting me on my apparently obvious weight-loss. Unlike some hoggers, I lost nearly 5-6 kg’s while at college.
Most relatives think that its due to my burning of the mid-night oil-esque studying.
I don’t like to disturb pretty thoughts.

She proclaims with full gusto. “ Before, you leave for Bangalore, I’ll make sure you gain at least 8-10 kgs.” Its gone off to a point where I actually said,
“ Amma, I’m bored. Eat, Eat, Eat… Give me a break ”.
So, Ladies, the next time you see me, in addition to the awesomely dashing, supremely bright looks, I might also be slightly chubbier. Be prepared, lest you be swept off your feet.
[ ROTFL]

Needless to say, gone are the days when Parle-G used to be my
breakfast/lunch/dinner.

Whole family went on major temple touring. Dharmasthala, Kukke Subrahmanya, Aane Gudde[Near Kundapur], Kota Amritheshwari…. yada yada. I hope that this fulfils my religious affiliations for this year.

Non-faith reasons aside, these visits were still pesky. Getting up at 4 in the morning, AND taking a bath, both on the same day, is quite an ask.

On the Aane Gudde- day, I had only one T-shirt left to wear, and by an act of cosmic co-incidence, it happened to be one with the awesome Black-Sabbath band pic on it. Was laughing to myself at the apparent irony. Mom asked why.Told her about the whole satanic/atheistic stuff about Black Sabbath.
She laughed at my stupidity.
Now, That’s a Wardrobe Malfunction, I feel.

Last year. December to be precise, I went to Strands Book Exhibition in Bangalore. Nice place, books at decent prices. One of the many books that I purchased that day was “The Devil’s Alternative”- by Frederick Forsyth. I finished it last week. Ace book. They even called it unputdownable. But that’s how I read. Shame…

Boarded a bus from the M.G.M stop[ My P.U college, I miss it very much too,
but too much senti is not good, so I skip intro]. The conductor saw me and gave me a C.
That’s a half-ticket in Udupi/Mangalore lingo. There used to be a time, when
my friends and me were immensely pleased at this 1-2 Rs. savings.
But C’mon. At 21? You got to be kidding me. Probably I need to look a bit more refined/mature.
I think I should sport a beard. Maybe I will.

One major improvement over the past vacations, is that I finally am getting to surf through Broadband this time. Dial-Up’s a pain in the Bottom if you ask me. [ Did you spot the pun. Ya right there, that’s it. Read on].

Here, I’d like to mention the extremely suave, gracious BSNL folks who came over to my house, installed the ADSL modem+router, and made sure that the connection’s up n running. Granted, its their job. But, it is nice to see govt. officials who are courteous.
It restores my faith in the system.

Now, I surf at nearly 200+ kbps. And as Dha says, I can now download anything that “tickles my fancy”.

Oh ya. I take only the legally downloadable movies, music, sitcoms, software.
After paying for it, of course.

Ah. My board. With Sarcasm written in large letters. Where’s it?.. Better hold it up high.

A Linux guru from Bengaluru, Atul Chitnis does more justice to BSNL’s efforts.
It is also a stepwise guide to the whole deal of getting a dataone connection.
He’s written it better, hence I won’t dare repeat it here.
Read Maadi. His first opinion on this was cynical, and then he changes his mind in this entry after getting the connection. Likewise in my case.

To Atul : I installed it myself on Linux. You took their help. Ha ha…

P.S

Atul says: kill -9 ‘pidof logik’

Senti – –

May 19, 2008 at 4:46 pm | Posted in nitk, nostalgia, Visions | 11 Comments
Tags: , , ,

So this is it. The bluesy feeling finally came. Initially, in small doses. But eventually, as time passed, and we came closer to the end [ if you could call it so], the senti-jolts were obvious and caused intense discomfort.

4 years seem to have swished by in a jiffy.

The realization of that, however, came a bit too late[ which was good, btw]. It probably started as soon as Inci got over. Random flashes- scenes from the past years, events of importance, the funner things in life that I experienced here
– appeared at times. And me got all pensive, which is, you can safely say, not normal; considering my nature.
A CnH strip, that probably describes my situation. With due apologies to Watterson.

Calvin
[Pls right click and open the image in a new tab, will ya.]

The last few days were unbearable. Every task that you did in college had some kinda tag associated with it. Last time this, First time that etc. Add to that a whole bunch of drippy farewell ceremonies. The senti-meter kept showing intense readings as the days passed.

Senti graph
[Pls right click and open the image in a new tab.]

Each of these peaks had some significance associated with it.

For instance, on 21st was the impulse outburst after the exams, the moment that I realized that I am an Engineer…

On 27th, after certain touchy fare-thee-wells, Chindu, Shishir, KK, and me set about strolling in the campus. We went to SAC. I delighted them with impromptu renditions of “If you come Today”, and “Another Brick in the hall”, with a booming voice atop the stage, and was well-received.
[ Three is a crowd, remember?].
Sat there contemplating, and discussing. What went right, what went wrong, memories etc. The discussion eventually became about IPL. So zip it…

On 28th, bored after packing, and late in the night, 2-ish, I set about doing a Noorie-like walk, taking a route from the 8th block, to Main Building, S.S, G.B and Coffee Dabba[was closed], SAC, S.J.A, and back. Trying to remember moments.

The remaining peaky spots on the graph involve reasons unbeknown to many. And probably realized by a certain close-knit set of friends. They know. I know. That’s pretty sufficient.

I’m saddened to leave the place that nurtured my academic curiosities, the place where I met a wide assortment of interesting people. Passers-by like me, driven by zeal to make the most of their stay, to find a purpose to their erstwhile directionless lives, and most importantly, the folks who were here just to have a jolly good time.

All of you made this place special. Memorable. Stand up, and take a bow….

To good friends, arch-enemies, SPICMACAYites, fellow tronixians, Bloggers, Tronix-Bloggers, room-mates, wing-mates, ENGI-INCI junta, all those people of the 7 batches , that I’ve had a chance to interact with, and uttermost importantly,
Our esteemed faculty.
I’ll miss you.

So, hoping that, “With the world being a small place”, “Keep in touch”, “ Ping me” and all other clichés turn out to be true in this case.

And as Watterson rightly said,

It’s a Magical World out there, Hobbes.

Lets go exploring…

P.S:

My room. 8th Block, 2, has the above lines etched as a means of frustu-graffiti. The kind soul who occupies it next is requested not to erase it, and other brags that I might have written there.
Final visit to Sunder’s was pretty senti too. The last full-maggi with half-fry there, and a hug later.

Other tata-bye-bye posts can be found at [1], [2], [3], [4], [5], [6],[7]
From Ol’ friends and new…

Quantification of sentimental feelings on a graph. Bad. Abhishek. Bad.

This post should have been written about a month ago. But, I’d so many things on my mind then and writing a post was not one of them.

MSpaint rwocks…

Right now I’m feeling bored…. Totally BORED.

Sakku Tetris

April 22, 2008 at 5:21 am | Posted in arbit, humour, Linux, literary, nitk, Technical, Visions | 1 Comment
Tags: , ,

Narcissism should be the state religion.

Some 6 months ago, Sakku Tetris [ Sakkut ™ ], a weapon of mass distraction
was unleashed upon hapless nerds of NITK by the cranberry Zombie
a.k.a The Ghost who Codes, or more popularly known in dcpp circles
as RatPoizon.

Random announcement: Tetris is a part of the bsd-games packaged
in the great archlinux.
[I swear, evil-chappar-sense
asked me to add that. Evangelism at its core].

Sure, we’ve all used those hand-helds before. What was it.. Ah . Yes. Brick game.

Laying bricks[ a term totally ripped by Ali G btw], in search for that
elusive long bar, that would just give it to the huge pile that you’d
meticulously planned, with just that one column space. An lo, behold.
Crasheth thy tower, Gaineth thou points.

But there is no fun in that now, is it?… Along came Skld. With his generous
spirit and cranberry heart, he sets up this amazing tetris server in a jiffy.
That too with all sorts of high score updates, linearly graded levels with
higher rewards and ball-shattering speeds.

The best part about Sakkut ™ is that there is no need to complete the tetris.
The faster you get em’ bricks down , the faster you earn, and the earlier
you f’kup and leave.

Now, you might be wondering. Why the fudge is this chap blabbering
about a game that even my dad would consider Victorian?

Aha. I happen to be the highest scorer, my dear… and a whopping 30k+ at that.

For the ones that did not understand even a single word until now, here’s the post in
Sakkut ™ for Dummies Picture Edition
.

Putty SSh
That, my friends is PuTTY, one of the best ssh, telnet clients out there.
Use this for tetris.
Why?
cmd sucks. and this terminal window looks way better.
Once this is done, you’re hooked up with Sakku’s comp.
Id Unta swamy?..
Login Skalar

Look at that picture carefully. Wtf. Colour ASCII Art, that too with your alias. Dude. Its 2008… Wake up…
And speaking of aliases, how many do you have, man?…

Once you’re in, all that strikes you is one illustrious list of extraordinary gentlemen who have dedicated their precious NITKian schedules towards Sakkut ™.
Several cold wars, semi-trained Zulu Dances and a cut-throat competition in 8th block has led to the compilation of this awesome list.

High Scores and News

Lets dwell on this page for a while [ grin]…
8 out of top 10 scores. 30k. Not bad. Mission accomplished.
The 28k score happened to be when I was in a major inebriated state.
[ There, the first time that I’ve mentioned that I was high, on my blog.
I will not even attempt to chronicle my stupid endeavours under
the influence of substances.
Self Suck-Dingy…. ]
For details read N.R’s alcohol blog.

A new section started by the Rat. For practical purposes, lets call it the tetris blog.
Or shall we call it the Never come out the room-Yet report sensational news- Journalism?.. Hmmm…

Ranging from motivational speeches to Soma/me during the famous
( Sakkut ™ Wars )
, to kick-in-the butt orders for Dha to join, or claims that a certain evil soul did some nasty hacking, or arbit couplish stuff, that only the gossip-freaks would be bothered with….

The best part about Soma’s style of playing was the cool and the panache with
which he deftly manoeuvred.
@ Soma:- It’s lonely at the top…. [ evil laughter]…
The modest Rat however fails to mention that he himself is an accomplished player, however owing to the sudden influx of jobless junta, he fails to appear more than once in that list.

Now the golden moment. What lies within such a heavily guarded fortress, so charmingly entwined with the tales of the geeks, so dazzlingly depicting the brilliant set of conquerors?…..
Well, Sakkut ™ of course….

What is provided here is a sample of the way the game ought to be played. It might appear too fast, and could be confused for an animation gimmick. Well, lets be frank here.
There was some post processing. Irfan view is an awesome image editing software, and a new discovery advp does a good job at creating animated gif’s. But having screen captures at 1 sec intervals, what with that piece of software running on my lousy Tony, some glitches/ time lapses are bound to happen.
What is interesting is the level of F’kup’s that happen in level 9. One mistake, and Sayonara…
Without further ado, a humble demo…

Game on
Tiny things in life bring you the greatest of joys. Sakkut ™ was my companion during many a stressful days.
j-k-l-space
The keys to freedom.Finally I would like to sign off with a adapted quote from the best movie ever made. Yup. The Shawshank Redemption[ Suck on it, Godfather fans].

" Prison time is slow time.Sometimes it feels like stop-time.
So you do what you can to keep going...
Some fellas collect stamps.Others build matchstick houses.
Andy built a library."

Logik , Soma, Dha, RatPoizon, and evilsense played Sakkut ™.

Thanks to Dha for this. It taught me how to use animated gif's in blogs.
Thanks to Google for being there as always. Thanks to Photobucket
and Imageshack for hosting.
And readers, watch this image, while I make a silent exit.

Narcissus
Kudos to John Battelle for being the first John on Google when searched for John. Yup, he beat John's Gospel, John Lennon, John F.Kennedy , John Deere and John Abraham too.... And juniors, might want to set up their own Sakkut ™. We are alumni now.......... P.S: My Blogger theme sucks. All those awesome animated gif's that took me ages to prepare have been mercilessly chopped off.A better way to read an elegant looking post would be to subscribe to my rss feed via Google reader, or via the email service provided by feedburner. [ Marketing is the cheapest job genre ever.....] P.P.S: WordPress sucks,, a bit lesser though. Lesser chopping. P.P.P.S: This is getting irritating, isn't it.... Cheerio

Of Morals and everythin’ INCI.. Join the Beat…

March 5, 2008 at 8:50 pm | Posted in arbit, criticism, Ethics, nitk, Visions | 5 Comments

INCIDENT’08, was poised to be the best inci ever[ ya, the same line repeats every year]. More Cash = Better bands,More events,Bigger Prizes,Loads of fun.. INCI discussions started off with the choice of themes. Some frenchie suggestions to the tone of C’est la vie [ That’s life], and “Let there be Delight” were rejected coz they were too corny, or vague. Then someone came up with “Join the beat”. Either that it was too good, or probably that we were running out of time, in any case, this was unanimously chosen. And what with that awesome retro disco lookin brochure backdrop[ I bow to thee, Mashaal n Co, for that n I2J ] to justify it, there was no lookin’ back.


Inci was on…


Publicity[Highest number of participants], Marketing[Largest Budget ever], and a Bindaas website(s)[speechless]..

.….Many months later


Some days before Inci…

Committees assembled. AF starts working on college ambience[ Yes, you folks can brag about it.You rock]. JuggyD’s Master Plans. Soni arranges. Gupta high on LSD
[jus kiddin].

Some intros…

Mulki- son of a beach[ partner in crime]. Budling- Quizzesh, and Littax. P n Me – Birdwatchin, n other mischiefs. [Ya, we were the best, ob. Thnx anyways]. BabukiAand-“Fresh” n Frooty, n always short on coupons. VPdaMan- Jubilant n Responsible. SheldytheBird – SACrificed inebriation. Desai – Hospitalized everyone. Aggarwal- The short Matador. Shenoy – Order ! Order ! MmnOstee Pls. SidDaHermit – Cartman@inci – Super awesome kewl. Appar – DePressed Panda.Devarisi – sirigannadam gelge.G the Hoopla kid – was a treat to see Jinga Play.Murali – Hurrah for Pulse, and easterns.Kattige – Gay-ming .
If your a committee-con and your name isn’t in this all-praising list, either I’m out of lame-puns, or I’ve to belt you for some reason.
Join the Beat.

1. Informalz– Sorry to say, this has been the worst informalz in the incis that I’ve seen, and judging by the remarks of the seniors that happen to visit during inci-time, extends to the incis that I haven’t seen as well. It lacked that pizazz, that extempore nonsense, that knack of keeping the crowd involved, and mostly turned out to be cricketing sessions between committee members. The very fact that NITK junta chose JAM over informals [ which is good btw ] , is proof enough. Anyways, it was way,way better than FREEFALL-which lived upto its name. So, no significant harm done..

2. Xpose & Photography cLub: Due to certain observations made by certain people of merit, this section has been removed. Photography Club simply rocks man.. You guys are the best.. 
3.Inci Force– Last year, the worry was “Who’ll police, the police?”. This year,it was mostly ” Where’s the Police?”.
——————******************************————————–
It is at this juncture that I sadly mention the cheap, and indecent attitude shown by the NITK crowd towards the Shankar family. We boast of being the best of the best, the cream and other such hogwash, but even that basic civic sense, courtesy towards invited guests is not present here. Some third-rate bastard[ the most appropriate word possible], chooses to insult Jun.Shankar’s sis, n mother. Get some dignity,people. It is highly unfortunate that when I say this to the NITK junta, since I’m one of them, even I’ve to bow down in shame.

Desperation, I call it. Hooting at every other female that comes on stage, with the choicest of words. Ok, almost everyone does it at various degrees. I don’t claim to be a saint either. But, public decorum is what is asked for, and I think we being all intellectually sound, and future responsible societal creatures n all that, should at least keep these tiny facts in mind.

Everything’s never rosy,I agree. But these tiny blemishes stood to ruin such a well crafted fest, and it was something no one wanted. Anyway, people soon realized, and the gem that was Jun.Shankar continued his show. Hats off to you, man. For the full-house show at SJA, and for the packed house Workshop in the morning. We can’t thank you enough.

——————–*******************************——————————–
Gen Review:

Some critiques are already floating around, the good ones being wanderlust‘s , N.R‘s, n kittis Choose to read them.

Yours truly being the workshops convenor, supported by His Holiness Saint-P, had only one thing in mind before Inci. To bring out a transformation in the way workshops@Inci were perceived by the audience. And if I’m not mistaken, we did succeed[ 5 / 6 🙂 ]. Owing to a brilliant reco from Saranya, a kite making n flying workshop materialized. And kudos to Choukkar for introducing us to a genius in Mr.Akhtar Husein, who conducted the Nature Conservation workshop, the success of which many were skeptical about[ many=me], but in the end turned out to be one interesting session.

Koochie the kid beat me to set up the sand modelling workshop.[ Kannada Sahitya Sammelan, Same spot, One day difference]. I don’t give a damn. It was one of the best fun events this college has seen. Mr. Srinath,Venki n team, from Manipal were very friendly and receptive to our requirements, and spread their message through the huge structure that they’d built.

Sand Model by the professionals

The greatest committee’s extra-ordinary members,generously helped by P’s friends went on to build “The Taj Pyramid”, which saw intermediate forms of the globe, Petronas towers, an Onion, Ditchable Failure, and finally Ta-da….

The Taj PyramidThe Taj Pyramid xtra effectsTa da
The Magic workshop [ All you want to know, but no tricks explained], kept all of us eagerly waiting for the next trick. Jun.Shankar, charming as usual, with his radiant smile, n that spark in his eye, managed to captivate the audience[the female ones, in particular]. We were literally amazed when Ronnie the Great, and Gokul the Bald, performed tricks, using “magical” powers hitherto unknown to them. Ya, sure, We’ll be calling you guys next year.

Magic

Casino Reuda, the weirdest of all names, with the added twist of having a “partner switch” clause attached , turned out to beat all previously held Inci records, and if it were not for the fact that most couples were working in some darn committee, we’d have broken the currently held IE record as well.

As per most accounts, I was shabbily dressed, and did not match in elegance to Her Majesty. Extremely sorry about that.
In any case, it was amazing fun, albeit extremely complex, and that chap shouting insane mexican chants at random times dint help much.

My first western duet dance ever,this is something I shall certainly remember for life. Thank you.

Team Mangalore is one creative bunch of hobby kite enthusiasts, who have been in this field for years now. They had got the largest kite in India, “Kathakali” and we were in awe witnessing its whopping extent. Seeing loads of colourful kites flying above the NITK beach, was truly one beautiful sight. I was running to the beach to catch it, and in the meantime,got some 10 calls to come and check it out. Ya, Mulky , you can give me a treat anytime you want.

The remaining workshop has not been reviewed intentionally.

I thank all of Team workshops, who were there at all times, the work being official, or even stacking up sand, having fun at the beach, or running around to get arbit stuff from random locations. It wouldn’t have been as good, without your support.

Ok, So much for bragging, and pompous claims. Lets start with the Inci review now..

The events that I attended were very few, and I was pretty choosy about them. Qualified in India quiz as a part of the trio [Logikittashish], and came last in the finals[ Drumroll missing]. Really good quiz, but one small piece of advice. Every quizzer in India is not a TAMkid, in case you dint realize. So, while the M.S.S , n Visa Balaji bits were fine, asking trinity questions about Cholan and Pandyan weirdo temples are not. And,before you jump, I don’t know my history, and I don’t give a rat’s bottom.

JAM, this time had house full response, and Brat was surprised to see that. I did not participate, but did something that I love the most. Threw paper balls at Mr.Kaya, along with an accomplice, for something stupid that he uttered.
Highlights: Kaya’s robot dance, the arbit girl forgetting to dance each time, Jenna Jameson in Agra, Attempted Objections to JAM Master flirting excessively with a participant[ did not happen, though].

And Yay, Bharat Darshan was gay.


And I got to see UV dance, which I’d missed during ENGI. It was unique, not the best of things, but certainly well done. Thank you Mr.D, for your request, and for mentioning only workshops in your inaugural speech.

My KK concert, Pulse, Eastern Musical feelings have been sufficiently captured in the posts mentioned above, and also in my comments that follow there. Some left over bits.

All Hail BIT, and that classico-vocal Genius. Pulse –

@ Megha: Whate Voice, lady. You remind me of Ronnie James Dio.

@ TamBrahm Google Kid lookalike alias Death Metal Vocalist: We were completely deceived by your appearance.

@ The guy with the red Jackson Guitar:- Can I have it?

Jackson Guitar

@ Bhoomi’s Lead Guitarist: Applause, Bow, The Corna.

Corna

Some rumours were floating around. Pai is here. Pi is High. Pi is jammin with his new guitar. etc etc.
Happened to meet him at SAC. Apart from that weird beard, he hasn’t changed much. And his lady, the Blue Les Paul was indeed gorgeous. He gave me this Comic-Con badge[ The exhibition that this lucky rat went to, in the U.S].

Comic Con Badge

Ya, It looks worthless, but that’s what all souvenirs are, right. Its the person, and the occasion that makes you keep it. And keep it, I shall.
After chatting for a while, he made a dash for it, luckily missing the Fashion Show in the process.

And finally,To sum it up,

We chose Life, Colours, the sunny side, and to Join the Beat.

Incident will be in our memories for ever, for the efforts that we put in, the masti, the let-your-hair-down-freaking out , childish pranks and sheer dumb guts to reach for everything fun, and succeeding.

37 days remaining, the countdown begins. Was mental before, now senti too…

P.S: I did not mention the inner core, coz INCIDENT’08 speaks for their efforts, and that they would not find it punny.

GOD?

December 22, 2007 at 2:59 pm | Posted in arbit, criticism, Ethics, Visions | 6 Comments

A tricky subject, especially something that I don’t know much about. But, I’m really intrigued by the whole concept. Questions like, What if He did exist , come to mind… Ok, Most of you would have realised that I’ve an atheistic bent of mind. For the rest, here goes, I’m an atheist, i.e , a non-believer in the existence of God, various theologies etc….

But I really love the concept. Having the notion of a supreme controller, the ultimate being, all powerful, all pervading, yada yada..brings in a sense of self-restraint among individuals. But my feeling is that ,when you let your fate to be decided by someone else, only to face the implications, it could either bring in that permanent sense of self-consciousness [ in a bad kinda way], or might make you immensely nonchalant about the whole process.

I have some doubts however. It is often seen in religious books, that God is referred to as “He” [ apparently its blasphemy if you don’t put the capital ‘H’ ]. I wonder why Gods are not represented by ‘She’. But that’s a trivial doubt. One might argue that major prophets, messiahs were male, and keeping with the standard terminology, its ‘He’.

But how foolish must we be to assign such meaningless attributes such as gender, a concept that is so trivially mortal, to a character that we so seriously visualize to be much higher than us.

I believe agnostics are the worst kind of people. The most fickle minded of them all. I have nothing against believers. To each his own. But the kind of people that say.. ” I don’t believe that there is a God or anything , But I do believe that there is a Supreme Force that controls our thoughts and actions, and the universe in general; “. Tell you what… Screw you guys. Get some balls. and jump to one side.

For if the notion of the supreme force were to be remotely true, shouldn’t we refer to God as “It”, with a capital “I”. Examples in religious literature would probably include, “It saves”, ” It will forgive you “, ” It knows what you’re doing ” etc … Man, that would seriously turn some heads, and primarily sound like some corny line from a M.Night.shyamamamalan movie….

Belief is a disposition, not something to be enforced upon. It should be a cumulative set of self reflections that you perceive over time. Something that will make you think about your actions, the consequences, about life, the universe and everything else. If you need a God to guide you on that path, well, good for you. If you somehow think you can manage on your own, that’s good too… But if keep looking for support when you need it, and then be a pompous ass later, you seriously suck….

Ok.. That might have sounded like I was preaching from my bottom. But its an issue that I really like and amd passionate about. Feel free to disagree.

P.S: This post has substituted another ; something that was to be titled “GRE chombu”.. and would complete the chombu trilogy. i.e, GATE, and CAT. But unfortunate for many perverse readers who dwell on other people’s miseries, it was not to be…[ fading drumroll….]…

Cheerio…

More Crap…..

November 7, 2007 at 9:11 am | Posted in arbit, criticism, literary, Visions | Leave a comment

Why do people rant? Why? Why?…. I always believe, don’t keep complaining about stuff- Be the change.
If something is utter bull-shit, make it better.. Then some might brightly point out. What about this blog?… Well, can’t you see? I’m working on it…
True, this stuff might seem like its nonsense, and the only part that made some sense to you was the fact that I just said ” its nonsense”, but c’mon give me a break.
Lots of people have said lots of things about the way I write, the way I talk, and basically ‘the way I am’ . Constructive criticism aside, its most to do with Reductio ad Hitlerum , with people spewing comments just because I’ve something to do with it. Screw you guys.
True this may not be a web-log [ blog for short ] , in its truest definition, coz I dont tend to spill out my deepest secrets, personal cravings, morbid fascinations , erudite memoirs , or the likes… But seriously, who cares.
Its free webspace. Its between me and google, me and wordpress , whatever. Who the hell are you to bother, what I do with it?.
Oh. But I do…. coz you, my readers, the esteemed audience , the all-mighty critics have looked down upon my works as if it were scum of the universe types. Where have I gone wrong?
I write for myself, but it’d surely help if some pitiful soul glances over this once in a while and gives his two-penny’s worth of comments, over what’s good , and what’s bad, but most importantly what’s ugly .

A great quote from South Park comes to mind:- ” If you don’t crap the crap , then it is not a crap”. It makes no sense what so ever, and is not the least bit related to this article. I just included it coz it was in the same episode as the title of this post.

See, here’s where the problem lies in. I deviate a lot. With lots of earth-shattering, ball-breaking views with me, I tend not to express it so well, as to convey anything significantly meaningful to the other end. Maybe I’ve got to change.Maybe I will….

The thing is this :- any piece of writing that happens to be one of your contributions, be it this blog, some essay, a poem , or even a well-thought and painstakingly edited article on Wikipedia. When I see some illogical, irrational , and mainly stupid remarks about them, under a thin veil of constructive criticism, it just drives me insane. I’m sure some of you’d agree. To the others , sod off 🙂 ;

See, I managed a successful rant. I’m one of you now…. See, what you’ve turned me into, you lousy freaks.

P.S :- The author of this article was in perfectly sober conditions when this master-piece was created. Any signs of temporary lunacy, or influences of intoxications maybe attributed to his natural charisma. Thank you, one and all for having made it this far. Till next time -> Get lost.

And the deal is done…..

October 25, 2007 at 6:57 pm | Posted in arbit, humour, literary, nitk, Technical, Visions | 4 Comments

Yes you read it right, the deal of the century which is going to revolutionize the field of electronics just took place recently.

Who are the players, you may ask. Davangere Semiconductors ™, a fully private company founded and funded by Takal, has just acquired Dinga Electronics ™ founded by Logik [ that’s me you dolts]. Well, this is kinda funny , as both the firms don’t exist as of now. Why this empty boast then?. Coz, We’re jobless visionaries<=>Phinal Years.
A little bit into the history and planned future of the two companies.

Davangere Semiconductors™ is a venture to be started by Rakesh Babu Grrr.[ Takal ], whose primary mission is to create a fabrication plant in Davangere and give permanent employment assurances to all kicked-out-from-D’gere and returned from NITK alumnis. As a side business it also plans to make potato chips, to further the cause of rural employment. The future of this company is quite shady as self-proclaimed CMD/CEO/Chief Mentor Shiverbay[ a.k.a bevarsi, a.a.k.a Sad-anand], has a cunningly cunning plan to get takal into a freakish-fatal accident, involving a trained house-fly, an old banian, and a photo of takal.

About the finer details, I think you’ll have to contact shiverbay itself. After that the mascot of D’gere Semi will be a moulded bust of Takal[ alias Super-Tux]. Nothin much busty to boast about, but the company is expected to reach greater heights after this strategic demise. A statue of the above-mentioned mascot[ image hidden for leeegal purposes] would be placed in front of the company headquarters in Davangere to encourage budding entrepreneurs, into not doing similar blunders.
E-Porya zindabad.
Useless Trivia: An important part of the work-culture is Davangere Benne-Dose. It is an integral part of the company success.

Dinga Electronics™, on the other hand, has presently no plans to make it big. A company to be started by the world-famous Logik[ notice the third person jactitation, Me does that a lot; get used to it ], has the primary aim of fooling some venture-capitalists into shelling out big-bucks. Our mascot is Dinga™, the world-famous cartoon character from a kannada
comicDinga. Well, the brand image is immediately obvious, as we plan to do nothing serious.The catchy name offers to be a cult-phenomenon in Karnataka very much alike to APPLE™.To be rolled out products include D-Phone ,D-Mail, and D’oh . We plan to take Google head-on. And our motto shall be ” DO no good “. We think that plagiarism is the future, and thoroughly encourage it in controlled environments.
Trivial Trivia: Our head quarters shall be in Udupi, which is famous for Goli-Baje.

Anyway, the deal was simple, they buy us out. And what’s more, I’m being offered the post of Chief-Peon at the new company, aptly named Davangere Dinga™. The first task after the merger[ not acquisition, you dumbrats], would be the creation of
Goli-Dose, which is said to overturn the way we think about the side-effects of keeping the highest density of semi-retarded graduates at a single spot. Can’t wait for all this to happen. Keepin my toes crossed.

Cheerio…

P.S:- Happy B’day to me,[ 21 years and counting…. ], Similar Wishes to N.R, Raveena Tandon, Hillary Clinton and all other arbits who happen to share the distinction of saying “ Hello World“, on this day…

P.P.S:- Vishal Patel is Baaack after two n half years… and he mentions Sunil Pai on his site… Since being a fan of both these god-level writers, this happens to be a special week for me…

A signing off haiku….

The Clock Strikes Twelve…

My bottom hurts.

GNU Public License

Allen Poe to the Rescue

June 8, 2007 at 8:38 am | Posted in arbit, literary, Poe, Visions | Leave a comment

The first time I heard Edgar Allen Poe‘s name was when I met the boy-genius Sunil Pai [ a.k.a Pi ] during one of our “interaction” sessions with the then final years, in the final block of NITK.

All I knew was that E.A.P was a O.H.P[ Over -head ] kinda author, with fantastic poems and stories to his credit, that only people like boy-geniuses mentioned above could comprehend… I’m happy that I was wrong..He reaches out to mere mortals like us too, though the effect might be a bit less. The highs that you get by reading his works are beyond comparison.

‘My experiments with Poe’ began recently, with his works rather[ : -) ].
This man is an absolute genius, with a command over the language to entice any literature lover, creating macabre tales, short stories, poems with equal ease.The style is succint when needed , and intricately descriptive otherwise, beautifully drawing allusions, and precise use of metaphors, thus illuminating or in some cases intensifying the very essence of that section of the plot.
Considered by many to be the creator of Science-Fiction genre, he has touched many genres, like horror, a bit of philosophy, you name it…

I started out with “The Black Cat and other stories”.My journey starts with
The Black Cat” , This is about an anonymous author, telling his transition from the normal, to a state of utter perverseness. Perverseness is a recurring theme with Poe, and he uses this primitive expression of man, as a tool to explore the extents of Human Behaviour. The cat is used first as an object of affection, an intense obsession, then moves to a state of annoyance, utmost irritation, ultimately the contempt for the ” brute”, as he calls it is beautifully rendered.

Poe , through an imaginary author, the narrator of this story describes the horrendous violence that he inflicts upon the poor creature, and the way he relishes it , the instant gratification that he gets out of it, the manner in which he savours those moments are told in great detail. A plot that is necessary for a short story, it is crisp and quick, yet making the reader stop and think for a moment the horror that is man…

I’m browsing through some more of this Genius’s Master-Piece works. Reviews , when I enjoy them and understand them in the manner in which Poe wanted to express himself
[ Will take a long time, I assure you].

And – Pi, Those photos were awesome… Book – Con eh…. lucky chap…

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