The Full Monty Problem…

October 6, 2008 at 10:27 pm | Posted in arbit, humour, literary, sarcasm, spam, Technical, travel | 12 Comments
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Monty Singh was a wise man. The brightest in the land.

On that eventful Thursday, he received an email. This was a mail  like.no.other.

It was from a Nigerian King.

A real friggin rich Nigger Raja. [P.C version –  Niger. But different country]

Monty Singh was a pyoor Veggie. He didn’t like spam.

But this mail had to be genuine. His IIT alumnian brain could sense it. It was authentic. Right down to the black fonted signature in Wingdings.

He glanced through the contents. He couldn’t believe it. He read it again, this time slowly, and only then did the weight of the matter dawn on him.

He was chosen to participate in a Game show. A quiz of sorts.

Monty smirked. He was an ace quizzer. How he missed those days.

Flashback : Brought to you by Chintu Candy.

It was in seventh standard. He had had his morning’s cuppa’ Horlicks.

Then he went to BQC, thrashed Derek O’Brien mostly left, and occasionally right as well. Pinky Singh was a proud mother that day.

Monty came back from his reverie. He had to think this through.

Monty loved Probability. He simulated a random bit generator. Lady Luck was with him. “Go to Nigeria, you worthless bastard!”, she bellowed.

The queue for the Visa was shorter than he had expected. There was just one local brown model visiting the country for a Fair and Lovely – Limited Nigerian Edition ad-shoot. He grinned as he saw the neighbouring ‘US of A’ Visa line, mostly consisting of bespectacled grad wannabees.

He was received in Nigeria, amidst a royal fanfare. He was led to the only 7 star hotel in the country –  Bobby Da Dhaba. Monty felt right at home.

He woke up that morning, and got himself a beer.

Oops. Wrong post!!!

Monty was up and soon spiffily dressed himself. His father’s pink tie would go well with his lemon yellow shirt.

Karan Johar, the host, looked surprisingly hetero that morning. Must be all that Koffee, thought Monty. “Never mind his temporary non-gayness”. “Concentrate”, he said to himself, as he walked to the stage, which was lit by a thousand colour-colour LED’s. A sight to behold.

Monty raced through the questions like Usain Bolt on steroids. They didn’t call him “Monty Mastermind” just like that.

The final question. This was a toughie. Monty kept his cool. He worked it out. Ruddy Brilliant. He was dingchakkingly good.

“And now Mr.Monty. How bout a bonus round”, shrieked Johar.

“ A flirty car, or you lose it all…..”

No, wait. No one had told him about a bloody bonus round.

As if reading his concerns, Johar replied, “ Don’t worry, Its just a tiny game of probability”.

Gosh. Monty almost had a tiny orgasm.

“ Very similar to the Monty Hall scenario, I take it that you know about it”, asked Johar.

Pfft. Know about it? Why do you think my dad named me Monty?

“Oh. I thought that was because you like to…..  Never mind…”

“Ok. All the doors are hidden behind this wall. Just for kicks”. “And…”

Oh. Will you start already”. “I choose door no.2”. “Which car is it btw?”

“Premier Padmini’s hot friend, Diablo Lamborghini….” “ Whate joke . Whate joke. Ha . Ha.. I know . I can be a pain in the bottoms sometimes”, quipped Karan Johar.

“Ok. Mr.Monty. I’ll open door no.1 and… WTF…”.

“Damn you, Nigerians, stop touching my goat”.

Monty’s brain started working faster than a computer. All those nuggets from Dasgupta, and T.M.H, heck even some from Krishna’s came back to him in a rush. He evoked Bayes, and his conditional Probabilistic models. And in a jiffy, the answer was gambolling right in front of his eyes.

“So, Mr. Monty, what’s your call? Will you flip your choice, or keep it?”

Duh. Flip my choice. Obs”.

“Ok. Have it your way.” ……. “ “Hurrah, You win….”

…..

…..

…..

…..

“ the goat”.

“There were only two doors. Retard”….

All rise for the Nigerian Anthem.

P.S : Monty Singh was a wise man. The brightest in the land.

Update – 7-10-2008

Atul asked me whether this was a Himesh Reshammiya belting post? Actually, I am currently cursing myself for not noticing that Himesh is playing Monty’s role in Karzzzzzzz ( Did I miss a ‘z’? ).

Quoting Himesh – ” Rishi Kapoor is the best-looking Monty, I’m the worst” – We agree.

That, friends, is a different Full-Monty-Problem altogether.

The Life and Works of Sir Takal…

August 24, 2008 at 2:08 pm | Posted in arbit, Bengaluru, chappar, criticism, Ethics, fakereviews, humour, literary, news wagon, nitk, poetry, Politics, sarcasm, Technical, travel, Visions | Leave a comment
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Drawing on this extensive article; the sole biography of Sir Takal in existence, I choose to limit myself, and write only about his magnificent works, with particular emphasis on some of his recent views about everything of consequence to the neo-modern chinese cult-societies in Bangalore.

Takal doesn’t read my blog, so I presume I am safe. [ Sincere apologies in advance ].

Inspirations: [ with the equivalent deft delicateness of Anu Malik ]

  • Appar’s exhilarating review of his best friend’s literary masterpiece.
  • A superb book review of “The 2007-2012 Outlook for Tufted Washable Scatter Rugs, Bathmats, and Sets That Measure 6-Feet by 9-Feet or Smaller in India” – the most scholarly book ever written in this field.

There are two kinds of literary critics in this world, one who totally adore Sir Takal’s succinct analogies, and metaphorical embellishments at times, and the others who haven’t read him yet. I proudly say that I belong to the first variety.

You see, when you read Takal ( a metonymic reference to something written by him ), you not only get the perception that the author is trying to convey an issue of importance, but also the subtle realization of the deeper meaning that this exalted mind offers.

Through innumerous surreal examples, chiefly drawn from the author’s experience with life, and his in-depth knowledge of the Bengalurean city-life, as well as his profound insights on global politics[ with a categorical expertise centered around topics related to the Chinese and Tibetan domain ], Takal clearly convinces of a dark and shady conspiracy that the system[ The Indian Government ], is running in the background of a hazy “India Shining” campaign.

Some Excerpts, and a Detailed as well as a Figurative analysis :-

  • I don’t know why I wrote this post. It is bad. Or may be not . I am not sure. “  Never since The Tale of Two Cities, has a enantiosis, the figure of contraries, of this nature ever been displayed in English Literature.  Walking on both lines of the  paradoxical line, he gently prepares the reader for a tumultuous article ahead. He continues….
  • It was Friday. It was when I went to piss at 4 o’clock that day, that I saw that it was a haze of grey outside . Well, with only work in my mind, I went back and hardly gave a thought to the heavy rain. ” – Metaphors be damned. This is God himself writing. When was the last time you had such a phantasmagoric visual treat lined up for you[ In the most literary, straightest sense possible ].
  • “Well, when I came back home, another shitty thing happened. Power went off.” – A powerful, yet hidden message to the Yeddy government.
  • “ And it is the engineer’s duty to do everything at the last moment. So, thinking I had all the time in the world, I disregarded the increasingly heavy rain, and started to play candle-lit carrom with Kela.” – Inspirational substance, and a brief hint at an on-going romance.
  • “I went and saw to my horror that there were only girlie umbrellas available. But, when I searched properly I did find some black umbrellas. So, I decided to buy it. But wait, I saw the label, and here it was for 667 rupees only. Well, with no time, and having more than a goat’s brain, I decided to adjust with a girlie umbrella for a day( which was available for 220 rupees), I got the umbrella.” – Sir Takal is a champion of the woman’s liberation movement, and he breaks all stereotypes, and urges the reader to do the same. Notice how he assigns a higher price to the “Black Umbrella”. Yes, you guessed it. Sir Takal loves the Afro-American Community as well. He is a maestro in the field of Zulu Dancing, though he is very coy about it.
  • “Thus, it should be clear that a torturer is a torturer, whatever language he speaks, and whatever country he belongs to. The driver was talking to people in singular whatever, I don’t remember the word. It was as if he thought he was the lord. It was as if he was enjoying the overcrowding of the bus. I realized what sadists felt like. He was feeling comfortable in his chair looking at the crowded bus. I felt what a concentration camp felt like, and I for the first time sympathized with the Jews, Borat notwithstanding.” – Just two words :- Drawing parallels between a BMTC ride and the Holocaust, Sir Takal takes the reader to an epochal period and drops him there. Also of importance are the tyrannical analogies of the bus-driver, who here is being compared to Adolf Hitler himself.   Did I say two words?.. Sorry. Couldn’t resist.

And this is just one of his works. Imagine the greatness of a man who has managed to put so many critical issues in such an eloquent manner.

I could go on an on, but I do not wish that the reader misses out on exploring Sir Takal all on their own. A chance that everyone must take.

Takal is a genre in itself. Kafkaesque creations seem pale in front of this divine force of literary grandeur.

Some blurbs from some more reputed sources:

  • “This is the 98956’th Indian Origin author that I have been asked to review. Please give me a break. God Damn it.” – Shashi Tharoor.
  • “To reduce such a richly diverse book to a couple of main themes is a disservice, for there is much here to reward the careful reader (notably two startlingly educative essays on the ancient roots of relations between India and China). Particularly pleasurable is Sir Takal’s masterly reclaiming of Rabindranath Tagore’s reputation from the unjust misjudgment of him in the West as a mediocre mystic poet rather than the rationalist and humanist genius and polymath Takal convincingly depicts. But — disservice aside — two principal arguments emerge from this collection: an affirmation of India’s political and cultural heterogeneity, and of the ‘reach of reason’ in India’s intellectual traditions.” – Shashi Tharoor on cannabis.
  • “I think of the glorious Tiananmen square days, when I read Sir Takal’s works.” – Long Dong, The Times of China. he continues, “Actually, I always think of those days.” ,he clarifies.
  • “I so adore Takal because he posts his articles mostly at the break of dawn. I love to wake up and read Takal, with the cup of coffee in my hand. WoW, Sir Takal. You’re totally on my favorites list. ” – Chetan Bhagat.
  • “Pardon me for this infantile indulgence, but pray allow me to savour the poetic mastery of Sir Takal. I fear that if I don’t quantify it into my already vast intellectual cache, I shall miss out on something very special, the stuff that mortals are faintly aware of.” – Noam Chomsky, not on cannabis.
  • “TB rules. TB is my hero. TB is GoD .” – Hashish, The Arizona Daily Star .
  • “Ashish to Ashes, Dust to Dust” – Sir Takal, The Davangere  Daily.

Normally I don’t recommend authors, but in his case, I doubly do so.

Venture into the unknown,

for there is where true beauty lies,

Do not miss this literary Oasis, O’ pensive traveller,

Not a shadow of doubt, I premise.

Chetan Bhagat – The three mistakes of my life.

June 7, 2008 at 10:50 pm | Posted in criticism, humour, literary, sarcasm | 58 Comments
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chetan Bhagat
presents…………
The three mistakes of my life…….

  • chetan Bhagat
  • chetan Bhagat
  • chetan Bhagat

This is the primary reason why people don’t approach me for book-reviews…..

Anways, jokes apart. The reason his first book was good[ again, my opinion, shoot me], was because it was a novel attempt[ nah. no puns]. And primarily because, I’m an engineer and this book was about IIT. After that, friends, the charm has faded away.

I haven’t read the third book yet. Ah, A lying,nasty, cynical,hypocrite you say.
No. What prompted me to put this up, was some lame comments on a ‘genuine’ review page.

  • just loved it…….i hav only read three novels in my life…n they r all by chetan bhagat…         I sincerely hope that this guy is joking. Or is this Chetan Bhagat himself?
  • hi chetan i must say u always rokzzzzzzzzz n plz nxt time try to write something new not the same scripts yar waise i must say u r great. No Comments
  • i must say its a rocking come back chetan uncle i am a big fan of your i read your five point someone ,than a night at call center…….. but i must say that you are a perfect writer…. i am plnnin to take your book “three mistakes of my life” so how has been your experience for been the best seller for 70 weeks ?????? it must be fellin great ????? Chetan Uncle? Wtf. You btter be plnnin hard. I’m fellin awesome btw.
  • being a die hard fan of chetan..i can say dat dis book jus rockz…but a little less dan his previous books…its worth reading once..some ppl commented dat they can write better books dan this every week..dude..if u could have done dat..then u wud nt b here postin reviews for smeone else books….is dat clear???        Yes Sir. All- Clear. The job of a critic down the drain.

Ok. I thought I’d be unbiased and put some comments that actually dissected the book for what its worth. Some of them were too shallow, and most of them involved obscenities. Hence I present you the link.

What I didn’t like honestly was his division of reader-mentality on his blog.

  • Core Readers – hardcore fans who will read all CB books
  • Fringe Readers- My fringe readers are those who do not like my books, but read them anyway. They are “I’ve read all 3 books , all are crap” variety.

[ Sir, I thought your 1st book was good. and 2nd was bull-crap. I haven’t read the third one yet, Do I qualify?]

  • Critics – “the reviews were not as bad as I expected. Maybe they liked the book, or maybe they had a change of taste or maybe they realized that a few million, English speaking, educated Indians can’t be wrong.”

Mr. Bhagat- Sir,  witnessing the exquisite linguistic skills of your elite fan-base. I wouldn’t take that opinion for granted.
And he continues criticizing the critics….

  • “but if you call yourself a critic or an expert, you must offer some original, analytical insight about the work – good or bad, to justify your job. Summarizing the plot and repeating past interviews is not that. Anyway, less slamming this time, so I am happy. Thank you guys.”

The problem is the moment you end up slamming him, you’re automatically promoted to the 2nd set of readers.  What do we do?

Anyway. Go ahead. Read his book. He’s after all the “biggest-selling English-Language novelist in India’s History”.

P.S: Chetan Bhagat rokzzzzzzzzzzzz…..

Sakku Tetris

April 22, 2008 at 5:21 am | Posted in arbit, humour, Linux, literary, nitk, Technical, Visions | 1 Comment
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Narcissism should be the state religion.

Some 6 months ago, Sakku Tetris [ Sakkut ™ ], a weapon of mass distraction
was unleashed upon hapless nerds of NITK by the cranberry Zombie
a.k.a The Ghost who Codes, or more popularly known in dcpp circles
as RatPoizon.

Random announcement: Tetris is a part of the bsd-games packaged
in the great archlinux.
[I swear, evil-chappar-sense
asked me to add that. Evangelism at its core].

Sure, we’ve all used those hand-helds before. What was it.. Ah . Yes. Brick game.

Laying bricks[ a term totally ripped by Ali G btw], in search for that
elusive long bar, that would just give it to the huge pile that you’d
meticulously planned, with just that one column space. An lo, behold.
Crasheth thy tower, Gaineth thou points.

But there is no fun in that now, is it?… Along came Skld. With his generous
spirit and cranberry heart, he sets up this amazing tetris server in a jiffy.
That too with all sorts of high score updates, linearly graded levels with
higher rewards and ball-shattering speeds.

The best part about Sakkut ™ is that there is no need to complete the tetris.
The faster you get em’ bricks down , the faster you earn, and the earlier
you f’kup and leave.

Now, you might be wondering. Why the fudge is this chap blabbering
about a game that even my dad would consider Victorian?

Aha. I happen to be the highest scorer, my dear… and a whopping 30k+ at that.

For the ones that did not understand even a single word until now, here’s the post in
Sakkut ™ for Dummies Picture Edition
.

Putty SSh
That, my friends is PuTTY, one of the best ssh, telnet clients out there.
Use this for tetris.
Why?
cmd sucks. and this terminal window looks way better.
Once this is done, you’re hooked up with Sakku’s comp.
Id Unta swamy?..
Login Skalar

Look at that picture carefully. Wtf. Colour ASCII Art, that too with your alias. Dude. Its 2008… Wake up…
And speaking of aliases, how many do you have, man?…

Once you’re in, all that strikes you is one illustrious list of extraordinary gentlemen who have dedicated their precious NITKian schedules towards Sakkut ™.
Several cold wars, semi-trained Zulu Dances and a cut-throat competition in 8th block has led to the compilation of this awesome list.

High Scores and News

Lets dwell on this page for a while [ grin]…
8 out of top 10 scores. 30k. Not bad. Mission accomplished.
The 28k score happened to be when I was in a major inebriated state.
[ There, the first time that I’ve mentioned that I was high, on my blog.
I will not even attempt to chronicle my stupid endeavours under
the influence of substances.
Self Suck-Dingy…. ]
For details read N.R’s alcohol blog.

A new section started by the Rat. For practical purposes, lets call it the tetris blog.
Or shall we call it the Never come out the room-Yet report sensational news- Journalism?.. Hmmm…

Ranging from motivational speeches to Soma/me during the famous
( Sakkut ™ Wars )
, to kick-in-the butt orders for Dha to join, or claims that a certain evil soul did some nasty hacking, or arbit couplish stuff, that only the gossip-freaks would be bothered with….

The best part about Soma’s style of playing was the cool and the panache with
which he deftly manoeuvred.
@ Soma:- It’s lonely at the top…. [ evil laughter]…
The modest Rat however fails to mention that he himself is an accomplished player, however owing to the sudden influx of jobless junta, he fails to appear more than once in that list.

Now the golden moment. What lies within such a heavily guarded fortress, so charmingly entwined with the tales of the geeks, so dazzlingly depicting the brilliant set of conquerors?…..
Well, Sakkut ™ of course….

What is provided here is a sample of the way the game ought to be played. It might appear too fast, and could be confused for an animation gimmick. Well, lets be frank here.
There was some post processing. Irfan view is an awesome image editing software, and a new discovery advp does a good job at creating animated gif’s. But having screen captures at 1 sec intervals, what with that piece of software running on my lousy Tony, some glitches/ time lapses are bound to happen.
What is interesting is the level of F’kup’s that happen in level 9. One mistake, and Sayonara…
Without further ado, a humble demo…

Game on
Tiny things in life bring you the greatest of joys. Sakkut ™ was my companion during many a stressful days.
j-k-l-space
The keys to freedom.Finally I would like to sign off with a adapted quote from the best movie ever made. Yup. The Shawshank Redemption[ Suck on it, Godfather fans].

" Prison time is slow time.Sometimes it feels like stop-time.
So you do what you can to keep going...
Some fellas collect stamps.Others build matchstick houses.
Andy built a library."

Logik , Soma, Dha, RatPoizon, and evilsense played Sakkut ™.

Thanks to Dha for this. It taught me how to use animated gif's in blogs.
Thanks to Google for being there as always. Thanks to Photobucket
and Imageshack for hosting.
And readers, watch this image, while I make a silent exit.

Narcissus
Kudos to John Battelle for being the first John on Google when searched for John. Yup, he beat John's Gospel, John Lennon, John F.Kennedy , John Deere and John Abraham too.... And juniors, might want to set up their own Sakkut ™. We are alumni now.......... P.S: My Blogger theme sucks. All those awesome animated gif's that took me ages to prepare have been mercilessly chopped off.A better way to read an elegant looking post would be to subscribe to my rss feed via Google reader, or via the email service provided by feedburner. [ Marketing is the cheapest job genre ever.....] P.P.S: WordPress sucks,, a bit lesser though. Lesser chopping. P.P.P.S: This is getting irritating, isn't it.... Cheerio

This n That…

April 9, 2008 at 11:35 pm | Posted in criticism, Ethics, humour, literary, nitk, Politics | Leave a comment

The SPCB called me yesterday. So here is a round up of some oddities that happened in the past week.

A tiny confession. I’m pretty nonchalant about the Indian political scenario. However, when I was glancing through the online edition of the Times of India[ I’m not keeping well these days 🙂 ], I couldn’t but help notice this.[1]
” Rahul Gandhi washes himself with soap and incense after visiting Dalits”.
Scrolling down to check out the audacious person who could come up with such a statement, I was kinda perturbed to see Ms.Mayawati Naina Kumari’s name.[2]
Ok. Lets analyse this profound political conundrum using the now famous cheapness rating[TM].

The contenders would be
1. Rahul Gandhi[3]: who has allegedly performed ablutions with the choicest of soaps and all the perfumes of Arabia[ An exaggerated Macbeth joke. Pray pardon, and continue reading], in order to sanctify himself from the visit to dalit homes. thereby rendering useless,all the election mileage that he was supposed to get from such random visits, as leader of the youth congress, and general secretary of Indian National Congress, and as Rajiv Gandhi Part II etc.

2. The ever charming Lady, Ms.Maya, a.k.a Pachydermus Proliferatus[4] : For having supposedly found out about innocent Rahul’s bathing rituals,items in his bathroom, and other issues privy to all. Being on the spying side of a phone-tapping controversy seems to have given her some experience. Do we call this tap-tapping now[ for lack of a better pun]?….

A word of advice to Madam Maya. Please do take a bath once in a while. We the electorate are sensible enough not to attribute it to such inane stuff.
Ok, the previous suggestion was a bit hypocritical of me, since I don’t follow the practice of regular bathing myself.
But then, I’m not a dirty politician, am I?….

3. Me: For having dwelled on this bulldung for two whole paragraphs, when the solution was so evident. Mayawati feared losing her prized possession. The dalit votes. Her recent policy, simbly great by any modern politicians standards, seems to be

Brahmin- Harijan Bhai Bhai,
Everyone drinks together Chai.
Swalpa Lingayat and Swalpa Vokkaliga for extra high,
Whaatai, Whaatai..
[5]
Now,lets see.. Where did Rahul go wrong?.This chap is one of the most honest politicians[an oxy moron, sorry] in recent times. Honest maybe not in deeds, but in words at least. The Doon school’s charm is still visible when he speaks. For those are not statements masked with fear of the supreme Holy Mother of congress. He points out critical mistakes in Indian political history, most of them committed by the Nehruvian clan themselves. Pity Kapil Sibal had to bear the brunt of the ever-wicked Karan Thapar, trying to justify such wise thoughts as coming from a kiddish nansy-pansy person.

But, alas. Soon he will be one of them. Already getting diluted, delving deep into election dirt, propagating nonsense, touring every vote-hotspot of India. India has lost one more Leader….

Now, the results.
Its obvious,isn’t it?.. Its my blog;I win…I am the cheapest of them all….

Politics and economics are quite the sapphic pair.So how could I leave her out?
One more news headline…[6] [7]
” Researchers at Wharton Business School have carried out the study and found that inhabitants of richer nations are happier than those of poorer countries”.
or in Noob terms, “Money can Buy you happiness”.
My, My. And it took buggers from Wharton to figure that out?. Wtf.
I’m a pretty fiscally challenged person myself. I would have suggested this much earlier. Damn,
if only I weren’t so frigging busy…

In local news, but of much more value, We the Batch of 2008, were presented with nitk logo-ed silver rings. A symbol to connect us all, the brethren, the sistren, and the couplen.
So after all the possible jokes spanning from Captain Planet, The Ring horror movies, Semi-lewd wedding fundae, Nursery rhymes, Suffe-“ring”[ Sir, You’re the best. We now know where the Nitkian gets his/her Pj’ing spirit from] etc, we set out as blazoned warriors, all ready to face the world in all its glory, or as one friend points out, “To come out in Flying colours”.
Oh.. wait.. There are still some more days left before I spew that…

And, for the outsiders, and the juniors who dint know. EnC Don Ajay the Great, went on to win both the golden medal, and the golden ring. The best outgoing student of our batch. Tronix rocks macchi…

Cheerio…

P.S: Zippidee Doo dah…

Violated Self…

February 9, 2008 at 10:40 am | Posted in literary, poetry | 5 Comments

Rose, Rose, they all yelled,
A flower she ceased to be.
Peace, she is no more.
Why did she believe in Thee?

Fallen from grace,
Oh! The intolerable shame.
Some jeered, some wept.
Hallowed be Thy name.

Alas, ’tis too late
The bird hath left the cage.
Adieu, Rose. I feel for Thou.
Lord. When will you come of age?

The Chronicles of Bengaluru Part I : The CAT

November 20, 2007 at 7:38 am | Posted in arbit, humour, literary, Technical, travel | 4 Comments

Listening to:- Harry ChapinCAT’s in the cradle.

Disclaimer:- No cats were harmed during the making of this post.

Management is an illusionary subject.It gives you dreams, the whole ” I’m the Boss ” feeling, and that fat cheque too. The IIM brand is something too powerful to resist, and every TDH wants a share of the pie. And what does he/she have to do for this?. Pretty simple actually. Get through an exam , some GD’s and interviews later, and IIM it is.
All’s well, but 2.5 lakh buggers think the same.

So here I was , in good olBengaluru to write an entrance exam which goes by the name of Common Aptitude Test.
Let me clarify some things. I DID NOT PREPARE. I DON’T GIVE A DAMN. It was something close to a timepass kinda situation. But some funny and/or noteworthy incidents made this trip memorable.

Lots of plans were made well before the exam, though daily fluctuating, finally turned out to be great.Plans regarding Birthday celebrations, Bangalore roaming, place of stay, things to purchase, and last and definitely the least , about the actual exam.

Infinite thanks to Saranya for allowing me n tarkari to stay at her place. You Rock..

Now that the MangaloreBengaluru trip sucks big-time, its a pain to travel.Landed at 10a.m, and was in Jayanagar by 4.00..Was hopelessly lost, yet managed to come to a landmark location. Saranya then came cruising on her Rambo [ that’s an activa , not a horse btw ] to pick me up. So I was finally there. There was a brief intro session, and after we and her parents got acquainted, we started timepassing over the T.V.

The day before any major exam, people usually turn into scaredyCATs, and usually behave like a CAT on hot bricks. We , went out to eat. Jayanagar, is thankfully, still a great place to hang out, what with Cool-joints, hot-chips etcetera.

Around an hour before midnight, we felt it was our moral obligation as studious souls to see what this exam is actually about. So glancing through T.I.M.E, we managed to know the names of the sections of the exam, which was really helpful. So, if, … if… any result actually comes out of this, then-IN YOUR FACE, Two-year sloggers.

An interesting co-incidence , was that the day of the exam [ 18th november] , happened to be her B’day. So in spite of repeated warnings to sleep asap, we decided to stay up late. We dint dare give any GPL’s, for fear of being kicked out of the house, and also coz it was a favour returned 🙂 [ thanks ], but wished her none the less.

A warning to all readers who might come across a situation of sleeping in the same room as Anup [ pai, et al ], He snores…I dint have a decibel meter on me, but it sure kept me awake through the night, fully prepared for the adventures on the next day. And the one hour that I actually got a faint hint of what could be perceived as sleep, was disturbed by his lousy alarm. Whate friend.

So on the big-day, we set out as heroes about to face the greatest test, with nothin to shield us from the horrors that lay ahead. After adequate styling, n the sumptuous breakfast, we took our route info from her parents, and embarked on the journey that would last around 4 hours, and would in no manner change our lives in anyway.
Wishes for good luck kept pouring in. I wish they knew.

My center was at The OXFORD College of Engineering, Hosur Road. Give it to the nature of intrepid bangaloreans to name their two-penny institutions after great university towns. The result – Oxford P.U.College, Cambridge Higher Primary, and Stanford English school, gorguntepalya. Ya, I know the branding helps in fooling the junta, but ain’t there a limit? The situation is very similar to MIT – ” Manipal Institute of technlogy“, ” Moodlakatte Institute of technology”, blah blah.

And the hopelessly lost person that I am, the only thing missing in this adventure was a mix-up. And I had to do that too. So, the second I mentioned Oxford, the rickshaw chap took me to oxford group of institutions. And that was a sodding center too. Met snigdha there. Thankfuly she realised that this ain’t my center, and in about 5 minutes so did I.

Due to meticulous planning, and the above mentioned snoring effects, we’d left pretty early. So there was ample time for me to rush to the actual center. Roads are something to be proud of in Bangalore. Ditto about the auto-drivers[ except the last one]. I was there with 20 mins to spare.
Just then wanderlust messages me good luck, n asks about my center. Apparently she came to know of my blunder , courtesy snigdha, and the fact that oxford school was her alma mater. I was actually surprised when she told bout the j.p.nagar mistake, and was foolish enough to assume that it could be a common blunder.

About my actual center, nice place. Huge campus. and lots of cat junta. Met arkesh, mysore n zulla. Zulla with his usual charm told that he was high the previous day. Went inside the exam hall, to witness something really surprising.

Apparently as a part of a scientific experiment on gullible individuals, the campus management had decided to play music via the personal address system, in the tension filled moments before the exam. And the playlist– ” Nagumomu Ganaleni “, ” Brahmam Okatey” , ” Krishna nee begane baro” etc. The junta was furious, and apparently the experiment had not had its effect. The general complaint was that it was classical. I frowned that it was fusion 🙂 ; Finally an amicable solution was sought, that being no music would be played during the exam. Duh ..

For me it was the first cat paper. No simcats, aimcats, tomcats etc, so I friggin‘ dint care for a pattern change, but apparently the old-timer female sitting next to me guessed it was a screwing paper, the moment we got it. And she was right.

Having lost touch attempting quality math, the quant section became pretty time-consuming. I was not aware of strategies, and went about solving each and every question, like the naive kid that I am. Verbals was a breeze , atleast that’s the hope. The section that people were fearing the most , Data interpretation turned out to be very easy. Too simple infact. But, owing to my excessive interest in going through the poetry in the verbal section, I couldn’t manage enough time to do justice to the D.I.

So after the gruelling few hours, I left Oxford for good. Came back to saranya’s place. A great birthday feast was waiting for us. Watched the all-time awesome movie – DON [ the non-lame, original version]. Some timepassing in jayanagar later, with a healthy mixture of purchasing n window-shopping. The day was about to end. We bade farewell to our generous hosts, and set out, as shadows in the night, not knowing which direction the majestic – MAJESTIC lies.

Concluding remarks:- We were really grateful that this year the CAT was not let out of the bag. Ok. Enough of catty idioms. Time for me to sign off.

Cheerio…
Listening to:- Kishore Kumar – CAT… CAT…CAT.. Maane billi..

More Crap…..

November 7, 2007 at 9:11 am | Posted in arbit, criticism, literary, Visions | Leave a comment

Why do people rant? Why? Why?…. I always believe, don’t keep complaining about stuff- Be the change.
If something is utter bull-shit, make it better.. Then some might brightly point out. What about this blog?… Well, can’t you see? I’m working on it…
True, this stuff might seem like its nonsense, and the only part that made some sense to you was the fact that I just said ” its nonsense”, but c’mon give me a break.
Lots of people have said lots of things about the way I write, the way I talk, and basically ‘the way I am’ . Constructive criticism aside, its most to do with Reductio ad Hitlerum , with people spewing comments just because I’ve something to do with it. Screw you guys.
True this may not be a web-log [ blog for short ] , in its truest definition, coz I dont tend to spill out my deepest secrets, personal cravings, morbid fascinations , erudite memoirs , or the likes… But seriously, who cares.
Its free webspace. Its between me and google, me and wordpress , whatever. Who the hell are you to bother, what I do with it?.
Oh. But I do…. coz you, my readers, the esteemed audience , the all-mighty critics have looked down upon my works as if it were scum of the universe types. Where have I gone wrong?
I write for myself, but it’d surely help if some pitiful soul glances over this once in a while and gives his two-penny’s worth of comments, over what’s good , and what’s bad, but most importantly what’s ugly .

A great quote from South Park comes to mind:- ” If you don’t crap the crap , then it is not a crap”. It makes no sense what so ever, and is not the least bit related to this article. I just included it coz it was in the same episode as the title of this post.

See, here’s where the problem lies in. I deviate a lot. With lots of earth-shattering, ball-breaking views with me, I tend not to express it so well, as to convey anything significantly meaningful to the other end. Maybe I’ve got to change.Maybe I will….

The thing is this :- any piece of writing that happens to be one of your contributions, be it this blog, some essay, a poem , or even a well-thought and painstakingly edited article on Wikipedia. When I see some illogical, irrational , and mainly stupid remarks about them, under a thin veil of constructive criticism, it just drives me insane. I’m sure some of you’d agree. To the others , sod off 🙂 ;

See, I managed a successful rant. I’m one of you now…. See, what you’ve turned me into, you lousy freaks.

P.S :- The author of this article was in perfectly sober conditions when this master-piece was created. Any signs of temporary lunacy, or influences of intoxications maybe attributed to his natural charisma. Thank you, one and all for having made it this far. Till next time -> Get lost.

And the deal is done…..

October 25, 2007 at 6:57 pm | Posted in arbit, humour, literary, nitk, Technical, Visions | 4 Comments

Yes you read it right, the deal of the century which is going to revolutionize the field of electronics just took place recently.

Who are the players, you may ask. Davangere Semiconductors ™, a fully private company founded and funded by Takal, has just acquired Dinga Electronics ™ founded by Logik [ that’s me you dolts]. Well, this is kinda funny , as both the firms don’t exist as of now. Why this empty boast then?. Coz, We’re jobless visionaries<=>Phinal Years.
A little bit into the history and planned future of the two companies.

Davangere Semiconductors™ is a venture to be started by Rakesh Babu Grrr.[ Takal ], whose primary mission is to create a fabrication plant in Davangere and give permanent employment assurances to all kicked-out-from-D’gere and returned from NITK alumnis. As a side business it also plans to make potato chips, to further the cause of rural employment. The future of this company is quite shady as self-proclaimed CMD/CEO/Chief Mentor Shiverbay[ a.k.a bevarsi, a.a.k.a Sad-anand], has a cunningly cunning plan to get takal into a freakish-fatal accident, involving a trained house-fly, an old banian, and a photo of takal.

About the finer details, I think you’ll have to contact shiverbay itself. After that the mascot of D’gere Semi will be a moulded bust of Takal[ alias Super-Tux]. Nothin much busty to boast about, but the company is expected to reach greater heights after this strategic demise. A statue of the above-mentioned mascot[ image hidden for leeegal purposes] would be placed in front of the company headquarters in Davangere to encourage budding entrepreneurs, into not doing similar blunders.
E-Porya zindabad.
Useless Trivia: An important part of the work-culture is Davangere Benne-Dose. It is an integral part of the company success.

Dinga Electronics™, on the other hand, has presently no plans to make it big. A company to be started by the world-famous Logik[ notice the third person jactitation, Me does that a lot; get used to it ], has the primary aim of fooling some venture-capitalists into shelling out big-bucks. Our mascot is Dinga™, the world-famous cartoon character from a kannada
comicDinga. Well, the brand image is immediately obvious, as we plan to do nothing serious.The catchy name offers to be a cult-phenomenon in Karnataka very much alike to APPLE™.To be rolled out products include D-Phone ,D-Mail, and D’oh . We plan to take Google head-on. And our motto shall be ” DO no good “. We think that plagiarism is the future, and thoroughly encourage it in controlled environments.
Trivial Trivia: Our head quarters shall be in Udupi, which is famous for Goli-Baje.

Anyway, the deal was simple, they buy us out. And what’s more, I’m being offered the post of Chief-Peon at the new company, aptly named Davangere Dinga™. The first task after the merger[ not acquisition, you dumbrats], would be the creation of
Goli-Dose, which is said to overturn the way we think about the side-effects of keeping the highest density of semi-retarded graduates at a single spot. Can’t wait for all this to happen. Keepin my toes crossed.

Cheerio…

P.S:- Happy B’day to me,[ 21 years and counting…. ], Similar Wishes to N.R, Raveena Tandon, Hillary Clinton and all other arbits who happen to share the distinction of saying “ Hello World“, on this day…

P.P.S:- Vishal Patel is Baaack after two n half years… and he mentions Sunil Pai on his site… Since being a fan of both these god-level writers, this happens to be a special week for me…

A signing off haiku….

The Clock Strikes Twelve…

My bottom hurts.

GNU Public License

Swar Sagar By Praveen Godkhindi

September 30, 2007 at 8:29 am | Posted in criticism, literary, music | 2 Comments

The sound from a flute is mesmerizing, and when played by certain gifted geniuses, gives the rasikas a feel of intense joy, or allows one to enjoy the depth presented by the gloomy blues kinda composition- a feeling brought about by the choice of the raga, the occasion, and the rendition.

By some good karma , I had been to mangalore with a good friend of mine[1], who had an extra ticket to the Praveen Godkhindi concert. The extra ticket belonged to another good friend[2], who is out in bengaluru right now, and couldn’t make it due to a GREat academic rush [ Best of luck].

Anyways, this concert is part of a state-wide tour by the famous flautist trio; three generations playing together on stage. Master Shadaj Godkhindi,Sur-Mani Praveen Godkhindi and Pandit Venkatesh Godkhindi.

The programme is called Swar Sagar, conducted by Aalap events & Media. An innovative idea, getting three generations under one roof, connected by a common skill to display their unique edge at playing the Bansuri. This was held at the T.M.A. Pai Convention Centre in Mangalore. A huge auditorium with the architecture of a sky-dome, and with the lighting set to give the ambience of a night sky.

The performance began with a solo piece from Master.Shadaj in the Raag Hansadhwani. He has picked up the art pretty well, drawing from techniques that his father usually displays. He might not be a child prodigy, yet given that he is 6 , he is sure to make a mark in the world of music in the times to come. The rendition was deep, and carried with grace. His high swaras are not yet upto mark, and he is yet to cope up with playing at a high pace, both of which can be easily improved considering the skills of his gurus. Hansadhwani is not an easy Raag to pull off, hence the effort was commendable.

The next item was the center-piece of the show, the trio performance. The Raag chosen was Yaman, to be played in two gats. As each performer , with the tabla being the fourth element, played their piece, the audience was spell-bound at the family’s talents.As the tempo increased, and the four players converged to the last beat , we realised that we saw a really unique , and spectacular performance. With co-ordination brought about solely by experience, the flow between the various artists was very smooth.

One of the advantages as well as drawbacks of being regularly exposed to SPIC MACAY concerts is that, after witnessing brilliant, inspiring performances, with well-behaved , and a cultured audience, we find it tough to fully appreciate concerts in which the audience keeps moving about or the stage is set to include various special effects, lighting etc. That concentration, the oneness with the music is hard to get, with all these nonsense floating around. This stands as an appeal to the organisers.

The famous fusion band “Krishna” performed next. Godkhindi is involved with this band for a number of years now, and they’ve collaborated with a number of lead artists, showing the diversity as well as similarity that exists between various forms, hindusthani, carnatic, and western. Praveen Godkhindi, having learnt the styles of different gharanas, as well as exposed to carnatic shaili, can adapt to various genres with ease. They played raag Bhoop / Mohana , and then the famous composition Midnight trek which I think was in the Raag Malkhauns.

The artist took some time to interact with the audience on issues close to him. He brought up the issue of commercial concerts. Should there be ticket versions of concerts, or should they be of a ” free- show” variety. He mentioned that artists get an extra impulse to perform if he is monetarily supported, even if it’s nominal. Agreed. The rasikas should be patrons to the artists. Then he said that the audience are more involved coz they’ve paid for it. That, I feel was utter nonsense. People who’ve taken pains to take the tickets, come there for the love of the art, to see great musicians perform, to enjoy, and be inspired from the music. If it was free, many more interested people would have been part of the audience, that’s all.

Over-all a memorable evening, getting to see an artist perform live, whose music for me was so far limited to mp3’s.[ not a patron, in this case; me sorry]

P.S:-
[1]- Aparna
[2]- Saranya

P.P.S- In case you’re wondering why I’ve added so many references in my post, that’s coz I’ve been reading a hajaar research papers of late.

Rakhi, A beautiful concept, and an idiot’s first name

August 27, 2007 at 6:53 pm | Posted in arbit, literary | Leave a comment

One of the most apt Indian festivals, is the Raksha Bandhan. Affection, Respect, Responsibility all rolled into one.
Due to “a series of unfortunate incidents”, I was miserably broke last week. With barely enough money just to go back home, I didn’t have the capability or courtesy to get the usual gifts , which would be Mr.Cadbury’s and a Gandhi-100+ .
So after the ceremonial proceedings, I chose to give my sis a token amount of Rs.10, with assurances of goodies later.[ I don’t ask money from my parents for this, in case u were wondering,senseless ethics at arbit times is one of my key virtues]
Guess what my sis tells me… ” atleast give me something more than the price of the rakhi”…
Oh the pretty angel has learnt economics now…. How enchanting…..I’m stunned…A wisecrack , utterly humiliating though it was… still made me realise that how pathetic I was…
Boasting of a 4.5 Lakhs p.a job, getting good money for my internship, n not a penny in hand…I blame nothing but my rotten luck…..
Oh , frowning fortune, You cursed fickle dame…….

P.S:- Rakhi Sawant= Patheticus Maximus……..

Comments:-

Jammu Kashmir… Jammu Kashmir…

June 29, 2007 at 8:29 am | Posted in arbit, literary, travel | 5 Comments

This post is dedicated to Jakra- a friend, a Guide, a fellow porkibaay, and who is still very much alive…

To all my friends who wished that I’d not return from J&K [ 4 and counting] , I’m extremely sorry.
Well I’m back, and have lots to tell.
For starters, the reason why I was there , was to attend a national convention of SPIC MACAY.There were 10 of us, 5 boys and 5 of the chromosomally challenged types….
The unusual part os this journey was that the journey was longer than the stay, so we ended up inventing crap like Phase 1, 2, 3[ degree of boredom], arbit antakshari [start a song with any letter other than intended]. The Bolly-Tolly-Sandal-Tamil wood song database was thoroughly exhausted, to an extent that only the dreaded Himesh Reshammiya-Songs [ for lack of a better word], were left.
Boarded in Bangalore..Friends[ Sha, chappar, Soma, Srik] coming to send us off.. Well two surprise add-ons to our list of extra-ordinary travelers, was a welcome change.
So via the capital [ a much needed recharge point, cells and humans alike], we managed to board the Shalimar express to Jammu.The fellow SpicMacayiites were here[ including Kiran]. Jakra managed a hit [ IITG, if I’m not mistaken].
So on that fine morning we land at Jammu University, with excitement in our eyes, and wierd smells elsewhere.[ Three days.. not much for me, but an eternity for some].
The univ is beautifully set in the middle of the city, a lush green campus, with arbitly skewed buildings/departments,well set roads, and lots of history to draw upon [ I swear , I was not paid for this].
So Vivekananda Hostels for the baays, and Chandrabagha for others….A decent place to stay…
Cuisines served at the Gymnasium…. Decent food.
Jammu’s people are really nice, especially the ones at the univ, met really friendly people here.
Me signed up for an intensive[ a.k.a workshop] titled Sankhavadyam, fooled by a keralian sounding name with images of sankhas, and mridangams floating about, made myself co-ordinator, etc etc, but I’m glad I made the mistake.How else could I meet such a brilliant man as Purushottam Muni Ji, a expert in his art, and a person who has taken heavily from the cup of life.How else could I make awesome friends, like Harikrishna, Rajesh, Poorva, and of course Jarul….
Dwelling a bit more into my intensive, this is a folk art from Orissa, has three major parts called, shankhabadan, ranapa, and chadeya. These artists could blow a conch for 20-30 minutes at a stretch, could dance and perform acrobatics on stilts, and perform a graceful dance. We could manage a 20 second squeal of a sound, couldn’ t even stand on the stilts, and finished with what was perceived by the public to be a really good dance, and we were kinda happy that we did not create any major goof-ups. I even managed to give an interview to ETv Oriya regarding this,from an audience perspective.
About the concerts, I’ve lots to tell, since I’ll cherish someof them forever. For the first time, I got to see, Balamurali Krishna , his youthful nature only enhances his musical magic[ he loves the tag ‘bala’ ]. Shiv Kumar Sharma, the first time I heard him in Jaipur, I was spell bound, this time was even better. The pristine purity of Santoor’s music, coupling with Panditji’s brilliant expertise of the instrument, makes it one of my best musical experiences.
The overnight was truly great. We were handling backstage, hence got to meet lots of artists in person[ giving them tea n stuff, still, in the presence of masters….], Concerts starting with the legendary T.N Krishnan on Violin, later Ustd.Rashid Khan Saab[ 99 not out] with a khayal rendition, followed by the vocalist extra-ordinaire T.M. Krishna[ His book with Bombay Jayashree- “Voices Within” , is out on the stands, Buy a copy today].The next was the pick of the lot. The concert by Ustd. Shahid Parvez, on the sitar, mesmerized everyone.
As George Harrison of the Beatles’ Fame once said on his tour to India,” The Sitar is equivalent to a 11 member Cello Orchestra”,It carries with it such amazing complexity, and only a true master can explore the instrument to the extent that we saw that day.Despite some grievances that he faced, as a result of negligent behaviour on the organizers part, on our part, He kept all that aside, and his performance was beyond par.
Next came the Chupa Rustum concert. We had all seen the list before, and Venkatesh Kumar- Hindustani Vocal, seemed an arbit choice.Here was a singer from Bellary[ Yes, Karnataka…], whom none of us had even heard of. But we soon were to realize that our ignorance knows no bounds…I’d the opportunity to interact with him, he was happy that he got a Kannadiga to speak to.I was amazed at this great artist’s humbleness..
Here is the situation, It’s neary 5 in the morning, half the auditorium is asleep, quarter of it is empty. and the rest are wondering which of the above options to choose from.Here comes this man, manages to instill the fervour within the rasiks in the crowd, to an extent that people can perceive the artist-rasik connection happening with each stage of the alaap, and by the end, people are glad they stayed back, and could witness this stupendous performance. Such was the intensity of the fan-following , that few Reporters and others came backstage to contact the artist, and he was more than happy to oblige.The joy on the faces of the fans told the story.
That was the end of the saga, in Jammu Univ.. Bid farewells to new found friends,took some arbit campus pics, and planned half a day of sightseeing.
Rain played spoil-sport, still we mustered our spirits, and set out in search of the famous Raghunath temple.The temple was an architectural novelty from what I’d heard. This temple had been under attack some years back. Set in the midst of the city [ the markets grew around the temple , ob], this temple has the kinda structure that can be witnessed throughout North India. A pyramidal Gopuram, with a dual pradakshina circle, usually square like, and the sanctum sanctorum with brightly coloured stone idols.
What was unprecedented was the security[ there were people with submachine guns on the temple roof], as well as the nature of blatant commercialism that has covered the premises.Guaranteed money offered you individual attention to the Great Lord, and a free arbit garland, but still, there are limits to which you test people.Adding to that are temple rooms for every Hindu God on the planet that merits a dakshinam, and a purohit seated for the transaction.Finally somewhere people would Yield [ : ) ] .
I was bleeped at by most of my friends for doing an extra round, it was certainly not out of devotion[ God or Goddess[ : ) , ok a bit here ] , but just pure inquisitive bliss.
Just when we thought we were swindled enough already, we came out and saw what the Jammu markets had to offer. I’d a great vision in mind. Will take some dry fruits, [ walnuts etc], and would be given a grand welcome back home, for this amazing foresight. I was blasted outright. 2 kgs of Akroots take ages to break, and it’s frankly not worth the effort. I’m sure my friends would share the feeling.[ I’m sorry for the brilliant recommendation……]
The train journey back was a bit gloomy, but has to be one of my best train trips ever.The Jammu Tawi from Jammu to Chennai, probably one of the longest train trips I’ll ever make,was one of the most peaceful trips too. Arbit pics, senti moments, and Jakra taking pics with future to-be celebs. Here I tried to mock Bernoulli by trying to take a pic of a moving train, somewhat Ghulam ishtyle, and having narrowly missed the pic, and moreso being squished into pulp, have to thank Jakra immensely.

The journey from chennai to Bangalore, on the really long train-bus, was memorable for it’s own reasons.People suddenly finding irresistible attraction to the foot-board, and then being scolded at by the TC.This was a really senti-ful journey, with a really melodramatic end. With infinite Post-it’s at hand, we created an instant autograph book/ send off gift/ crown to Jakra.
No NITKian send off is incomplete with a kick to the posterior[ make an excuse in my case], and so in the middle of K.R.Puram station, Jakra was given a sounding farewell.

Some highlights of the trip:-

Vk flaunting his Walkman phone, almost all our phones going kaput in Jammu, Amazing Concerts, People desperately trying to collect contacts to boost some fictional ++ ratings, Mech rocks, L[ with a wierd hand sign], Jammu Kashmir- A Boring play with a wierd neck twisting dance manoeuvre, Raghunath Temple [ Apparently Tirupati’s not the only temple which shaves] , Jammu university, Indian Railways, New friends, Old arbits, Shocking taps, Do not spit- DNS, Mental Manja- a.ka Mangal moortie., Some flings+crushings[ : ) ], NITK Surathkal being bestowed the best chapter in all categories that exist, and so on and so forth.

To people who’ve managed to stay awake so far, to people who came along with me, to
Jakra, to the people of Jammu, to friends, to people who managed to land on my blog due to some wierd cosmic catastrophe, Here’s me signing off..
Cheerio. Adios,Astalavista…etc etc….

P.S:- Fellow tripsters included Vinayak, Anup, Kartik.J, Saranya, Mahima, Asha, Surabhi, Revathi, Madhava.

Comments:-

Allen Poe to the Rescue

June 8, 2007 at 8:38 am | Posted in arbit, literary, Poe, Visions | Leave a comment

The first time I heard Edgar Allen Poe‘s name was when I met the boy-genius Sunil Pai [ a.k.a Pi ] during one of our “interaction” sessions with the then final years, in the final block of NITK.

All I knew was that E.A.P was a O.H.P[ Over -head ] kinda author, with fantastic poems and stories to his credit, that only people like boy-geniuses mentioned above could comprehend… I’m happy that I was wrong..He reaches out to mere mortals like us too, though the effect might be a bit less. The highs that you get by reading his works are beyond comparison.

‘My experiments with Poe’ began recently, with his works rather[ : -) ].
This man is an absolute genius, with a command over the language to entice any literature lover, creating macabre tales, short stories, poems with equal ease.The style is succint when needed , and intricately descriptive otherwise, beautifully drawing allusions, and precise use of metaphors, thus illuminating or in some cases intensifying the very essence of that section of the plot.
Considered by many to be the creator of Science-Fiction genre, he has touched many genres, like horror, a bit of philosophy, you name it…

I started out with “The Black Cat and other stories”.My journey starts with
The Black Cat” , This is about an anonymous author, telling his transition from the normal, to a state of utter perverseness. Perverseness is a recurring theme with Poe, and he uses this primitive expression of man, as a tool to explore the extents of Human Behaviour. The cat is used first as an object of affection, an intense obsession, then moves to a state of annoyance, utmost irritation, ultimately the contempt for the ” brute”, as he calls it is beautifully rendered.

Poe , through an imaginary author, the narrator of this story describes the horrendous violence that he inflicts upon the poor creature, and the way he relishes it , the instant gratification that he gets out of it, the manner in which he savours those moments are told in great detail. A plot that is necessary for a short story, it is crisp and quick, yet making the reader stop and think for a moment the horror that is man…

I’m browsing through some more of this Genius’s Master-Piece works. Reviews , when I enjoy them and understand them in the manner in which Poe wanted to express himself
[ Will take a long time, I assure you].

And – Pi, Those photos were awesome… Book – Con eh…. lucky chap…

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Poetry in (loose) Motion

May 5, 2007 at 6:15 am | Posted in literary, poetry | Leave a comment

Life@NITK apart from other things, has added a new weapon in my armour, a new arrow in my quiver so as to speak.I’m talking about poetry of-course.
My alpha-testing of extempore humour poetry initially started off as a cheap way to mimic the awesomely talented “Whose Line is it Anyway ” guys, and their superb Hoe-downs.
But then, owing to our esteemed faculty, especially the non-department ones, I’ve had a chance to hone my skills. With that faltoo phone in my hand,right in the middle of the class ( ok front bench-to be specific),I’ve succeded in creating limericks ad-lib.And guess what, most of them were actually good. A few samples some time later.
But now to the essence of this post, off-late I’ve been trying my hand at other things( ok folks , don’t get perverted ideas now). I’m referring to a more serious variety of verse.What peeeple call “Poetry”.
With two poems already, I’m growing strong. With esteemed critics supporting me
{ Takaal, Vk, and most importantly an experienced poet by the name of Rajaram Ramachandran[ this chap is 76 years old] } I’m hoping that creative juices will continue to flow , and create master-pieces, that generations will cherish for-ever. Ok, lets not get hopes too high.
Look out William Wordsworth. Here I come.
Let’s see if my Words are Worthy enough. [ Pun definitely intended ]

P.S:- Check out my poems at Poem-Hunter
http://www.poemhunter.com/abhishek-upadhya/
Any comments, honours, awards,
(AND-OR) insults, “constructive-criticisms”, kick-in-the-groin are most welcome.

Comments:-

Thank You for Smoking !!!

April 23, 2007 at 9:14 pm | Posted in arbit, literary, poetry | Leave a comment

The smell of tobacco still lingers fresh in me,
Passive as I’m , it’s still smoking, You see!
A Puff for me, A puff for you,A puff for the world to see.
A puff to hide reality.

So fresh, the whiff of Death
A symphony of Mozart,
A joint is all it takes,
to take your life apart.

Mary Jane smiles upon us,
the fools that we are.
Along with Bacchus,
Makes our lives bizarre.

‘Tis is wrong,take a cue.
Bow down, and your days are due.
A joke it is, that’s true.
A Butt at the end,the joke’s on you..

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