N-Blox Reloaded…

January 20, 2009 at 12:29 am | Posted in arbit, chappar, criticism, Ethics, Internet, nitk, protocol, Visions | Leave a comment
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Not exactly a post. [ Ergo, something better.]
/***************************************************************************************************/
[Btw, My hiatus is surprisingly, not due to a writer’s block. This is your chance. Enjoy while it lasts…For be warned, Soon, I’ll be back. With my regular doses of textual – harassment. Phew, I can’t be booked for that] /************************************************************************************************/
My love for tetris has been documented pretty well over here. So I’ll not kutch further.

I discovered N-Blox some days ago, when chappar , wanting to get some cheap highs, was looking at psychedelic visuals on this site. And sent it to me.

Turns out Paul Neave is a brilliant Flash designer, with a passion for Retro games. Kewl. And I found Tetris. Blissh.

The gameplay is superb[ Considering that there’s not much scope for innovation]. But as it turns out, Neave is a bit of a N*gger [ Southpark fundaes]. With the sole intent of pissing off fans, he sets out and puts a score_reset which is called at the stroke of midnight.

I could think of only a few possible excuses that he could have.

  • Probably to save on diskspace of the scores.txt file. [Wtf]
  • To give every newbie a chance to figure on the highscore board. Turns out they already do. Through simple,stupid, “Injection” techniques. [Come on, Man you…]
  • “It’s my game.”  “Respect Mah Authoritah“…[ Awesome ]

Well, the third reason seemed the most logical, and we laud his spunk n all that, but we didn’t like it in principle. He could have at least given people the source code and allow us to tinker with it. But that’s his choice and we respect that.

But, we did want the game.

So, The php whiz from college, and myself, tweaked around the flash file for a while to send the scores to a different location. And the php to receive, process the scores at this remote location, and send back the results back to the flash file. No edits to the gameplay/graphics. Honest.

Did someone miss a beat? Never mind, Let me beat you again.

Me n php? Ha ha…

Well, truth be told, he did both of those. Great work dude, and btw, the Inci site rocks, as usual.

And me, with my stupendous Html skills, set up an oldschool website, which is approximately Web 0.2. So, enjoy Nblox on the site shown below ( while it lasts), and u get to post ur highscore as well.

So, without much ado, here’s N-Blox Reloaded peoples…

Phree Publicity: Check out http://byethost.com/   Free, and Hassle-free webhosting, with php support, and nice technical support as well.

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Feisty Fatwa on hackneyed Humour

November 6, 2008 at 1:46 am | Posted in arbit, Bengaluru, criticism, Ethics, humour, nostalgia, sarcasm | 6 Comments
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I, Sheikh Abhi, ( who’ll be known as Sheikh Abhi-Dulha at the time of marriage), decree the following fatwa. This fatwa aims to radically improve the ‘Post-Nehruvian Indian Humour quotient’.

Editor’s note: “Nehru bit” added for extra scope, and does not suggest the writer’s extensive political repertoire.

Abstract:

Its a surprise, and deep shame, that generations after generations have endured shoddy satire emanating from rusty retired maamas,as pale as Stalin. Or athletic Aaanties, as stale as Palin.

They did not rise up to them, or flip ‘em the bird. They didn’t chuck these jokes out of their humour vocab. They didn’t. No. No.

They instead chose to tell it to us. Oh, the Humanities!!!

But, enuph is enuph. Its time for Change.

Background:

These jokes are easily identifiable with any Indian kid’s disturbed childhood. To avoid lethal exposure, I will be jotting down only some of them. Feel free to add more if you’re itchy.

The List, and its interpretation:

  • “Which is the most dangerous city?” asked  Master Maams. What ? What ? asked we, in full awe of Maams’ general knolij. “Electri-city”. Get it? Ha ha ha. Maams used to reply.

        It’s a pity we weren’t using WTF back then.

  • A particularly putrid, bengalurean variant would be the dreaded, “ Which is the biggest stick”? Maje-stic, maams would say, hardly caring about the kids writhing in agony.
  • Or its perverse inverse verse from the alternate universe. Which was worse. “Which is the smallest stick”?Lip-stick”, apparently. No one would have dare guessed.

         I’ve not heard these for nearly 5 years. Hope they decay soon.

  • And there used to be this mother of all J-bombs. I’ll provide a short recap. For the uncut version. Run ‘line 1 – line 2’ some 5 times in a loop.

         Ramu:- “BJ.Franklin discovered Elecktri-kitty”.

         English Teacher:- “No, Ramu. It is pronounced as ilek’trisitee ”.

         I still don’t get the morbid fascination about electricity in so many of these jokes.( There are more like these, believe me) Probably that was the most happening thing back then. Positively shocking. The joke continues….

          Ramu’s Dad:”What seems to be the problem, Teacher?”

          Teacher:”Your son can’t pronounce ilek’trisitee”.

This joke’s punchline. Boy Oh boy!!!

           Ramu’s Dad:” What to do teacher. That is his Kapak-itee.”

So, basically suggesting ramu and his dad had some kind of speech impediment was supposed to knock your socks off, in times yore. Man, George Carlin would have created an 8th swear word, if he’d heard this joke.

  • And of course, the ever so popular, and recurring, “I don’t take any decisions, My wife is the home minister” joke. And all its mutated variants.

Khushwant Singh protested in vain,in some of his books, against this genre, and then for some reason, started vacillating between Sardar Jokes and chaddi-ke-neeche waala humour.

  • And we all know that it was your P.T Sir who was the stupidest man in the entire universe. And only he made the, “Stand in a straight circle” joke.

Now, If your P.T teacher was involved in a love-triangle, it offers some interesting punning propositions, of geometric proportions.

Results:

Here is an irrelevant experimental graph.

Conclusion:

I’m putting these and any that I may receive from fellow victims, in permanent quarantine. And I ‘umbly request you, not to pass on these family heirlooms to your kids. And one more fatwa – All future fatwas must always be in the paper publication format. I want to see the exact reasons behind the Mickey Mouse one.[1]

And, ya, I’m one of them.[2]

Times of India – Bangalore Festival

October 20, 2008 at 1:25 pm | Posted in Bengaluru, Carnatic, Ethics, humour, music | 2 Comments
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I have been appreciative of The Times of India with respect to two aspects so far.
•Newspaper in Education (N.I.E)
•Providing hosting space for R.K.Laxman’s awesome offline cartoon strips.
I add one more to that illustrious list today. The TOI Bengaluru Festival.

The PR guys at TOI have been spot on, while conceptualizing an event of this scale. They have gained lots of public goodwill for sure.

Sunday evening featured a fusion concert by U.Shrinivas on the Mandolin, Steven on the Keyboard, and Sivamani on anything that could be remotely called as a percussion instrument.

This was my first visit to Palace grounds ( surprising, yet true ). I realised its ginormity first hand, by landing on the opposite end and doing a complete circumferential tour.

The only means of entry were the generous free passes given at TOI venues, which unfortunately I didn’t have. I was waiting for a friend who apparently got enticed by the Bangalore traffic, and would turn up late.

Seeing me wait at the gates, a kind Police Maama let me in. I assure you, this was not a security lapse. It must have been my very innocent looking face.
The free pass system only exists, to keep a certain degree of vandals out of the venue ( The ones who are really lazy not to get passes ). True audiophiles ( such as yu-know-whu) should be let in without such formalities.

The host, a Ms. Rachana Bharadwaj,was greeted in typical boorish fashion, as is now synonymous with beautiful emcees. A cultural evening, did you say?
Shrinivas took centrestage, Sivamani to his right, and Steven to his left. The spotlight however was to change directions in a while.

Shrinivas began with a smooth Jazz piece, with each passing note creating a delightful sensation. Mandolin is a classy instrument, and He, having reached the pinnacle of perfection, can do such fascinating gamakas on it.
The second piece was even better. He was forced,however, to make it an interlude, as Nature decided to improvise.
Intensely ironic, the rain did fall in torrents.

I, being, of the vertically challenged variety, wasn’t even able to see the artists before. The rain proved to be quite useful. Many Pseduo-interested people, and not-so-enthusiastic Old Uncle-Aunty pairs decided to flee. And I chose to use this opportunity to go to the very front.

The artists, being wary of their instruments, stopped playing. Finally paying heed to the crowd chanting “Shivu, Shivu”, Mani decided to show us a tiny subspace of his vast repertoire of Percussion knowledge.
He began with a huge Suitcase, and the audience went crazy. This was to be the defining moment of the concert, with audience demanding an encore at various times, just by shouting ” Suitcase, Suitcase “.

Deciding not to tease the audience further, he went back to the drums. This time, aided by a DJ playing Kannada songs in the background.

Songs, like ” Baanallu Neene,Buviyallu Neene”, etc. The crowd went insane when he started ” Huttidare Kannada Naadalli Huttabeku”, and rightly so. And by the crowd, I mean myself as well.
Some idiot deciding to be a supreme-idiot, hurled some obscenities about Dr.Rajkumar. The police took good care of him. Surprisingly, the chap was a Kannadiga. Troubled times, these.

We were absolutely drenched in the rain, and yet we were dancing to the tunes of Humma Humma. Such was the magic in Sivamani’s beats.
Many of my friends are majorly repenting for not having attended this concert. Poor Souls.

Eventually, it stopped raining. The artists started a three layered piece, with the artists trying to blend into each other by the end of each cycle. Shrinivas was wickedly quick, and it became kinda tough to follow, yet melodious to listen.
Steven’s keyboard was making majestic soaring sounds, that seem to balance the tempo created by Siva’s beats.

The last piece of the concert was an improvised version of Raghupati Raghava Raja Ram, with mandolin being the ruling instrument.

Rachana seemed to have forgotten that there were artists other than Sivamani on the stage, but she seemed too excited to care.
Siva announced Shrinivas’s name eventually, and the crowd cheered in unison. He also thanked the audience in kannada, speaking about ” Raagi Mudde” etc, and we were naturally pleased.

Siva continued, this time with bottles, watercans, the Daayan of a Tabla, some pots, and everything else he could lay his hands on. It was just ama-jing. In the coming few days, if you find me percussioning random objects, don’t be surprised.

Too bad, I can’t make it to Shivkumar Sharma’s Santoor concert. Do visit it, if you have the chance.
The pass may be free, but the event shall be priceless.

Thanks again, to the Times of India, The Bangalore Police ( for letting me in, and for controlling the unruly crowd), and most importantly to the artists, for having given Bangalore a dreamy rainy evening to remember. ( and to Rachana, for being so pretty ).

Cheerio,

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The Life and Works of Sir Takal…

August 24, 2008 at 2:08 pm | Posted in arbit, Bengaluru, chappar, criticism, Ethics, fakereviews, humour, literary, news wagon, nitk, poetry, Politics, sarcasm, Technical, travel, Visions | Leave a comment
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Drawing on this extensive article; the sole biography of Sir Takal in existence, I choose to limit myself, and write only about his magnificent works, with particular emphasis on some of his recent views about everything of consequence to the neo-modern chinese cult-societies in Bangalore.

Takal doesn’t read my blog, so I presume I am safe. [ Sincere apologies in advance ].

Inspirations: [ with the equivalent deft delicateness of Anu Malik ]

  • Appar’s exhilarating review of his best friend’s literary masterpiece.
  • A superb book review of “The 2007-2012 Outlook for Tufted Washable Scatter Rugs, Bathmats, and Sets That Measure 6-Feet by 9-Feet or Smaller in India” – the most scholarly book ever written in this field.

There are two kinds of literary critics in this world, one who totally adore Sir Takal’s succinct analogies, and metaphorical embellishments at times, and the others who haven’t read him yet. I proudly say that I belong to the first variety.

You see, when you read Takal ( a metonymic reference to something written by him ), you not only get the perception that the author is trying to convey an issue of importance, but also the subtle realization of the deeper meaning that this exalted mind offers.

Through innumerous surreal examples, chiefly drawn from the author’s experience with life, and his in-depth knowledge of the Bengalurean city-life, as well as his profound insights on global politics[ with a categorical expertise centered around topics related to the Chinese and Tibetan domain ], Takal clearly convinces of a dark and shady conspiracy that the system[ The Indian Government ], is running in the background of a hazy “India Shining” campaign.

Some Excerpts, and a Detailed as well as a Figurative analysis :-

  • I don’t know why I wrote this post. It is bad. Or may be not . I am not sure. “  Never since The Tale of Two Cities, has a enantiosis, the figure of contraries, of this nature ever been displayed in English Literature.  Walking on both lines of the  paradoxical line, he gently prepares the reader for a tumultuous article ahead. He continues….
  • It was Friday. It was when I went to piss at 4 o’clock that day, that I saw that it was a haze of grey outside . Well, with only work in my mind, I went back and hardly gave a thought to the heavy rain. ” – Metaphors be damned. This is God himself writing. When was the last time you had such a phantasmagoric visual treat lined up for you[ In the most literary, straightest sense possible ].
  • “Well, when I came back home, another shitty thing happened. Power went off.” – A powerful, yet hidden message to the Yeddy government.
  • “ And it is the engineer’s duty to do everything at the last moment. So, thinking I had all the time in the world, I disregarded the increasingly heavy rain, and started to play candle-lit carrom with Kela.” – Inspirational substance, and a brief hint at an on-going romance.
  • “I went and saw to my horror that there were only girlie umbrellas available. But, when I searched properly I did find some black umbrellas. So, I decided to buy it. But wait, I saw the label, and here it was for 667 rupees only. Well, with no time, and having more than a goat’s brain, I decided to adjust with a girlie umbrella for a day( which was available for 220 rupees), I got the umbrella.” – Sir Takal is a champion of the woman’s liberation movement, and he breaks all stereotypes, and urges the reader to do the same. Notice how he assigns a higher price to the “Black Umbrella”. Yes, you guessed it. Sir Takal loves the Afro-American Community as well. He is a maestro in the field of Zulu Dancing, though he is very coy about it.
  • “Thus, it should be clear that a torturer is a torturer, whatever language he speaks, and whatever country he belongs to. The driver was talking to people in singular whatever, I don’t remember the word. It was as if he thought he was the lord. It was as if he was enjoying the overcrowding of the bus. I realized what sadists felt like. He was feeling comfortable in his chair looking at the crowded bus. I felt what a concentration camp felt like, and I for the first time sympathized with the Jews, Borat notwithstanding.” – Just two words :- Drawing parallels between a BMTC ride and the Holocaust, Sir Takal takes the reader to an epochal period and drops him there. Also of importance are the tyrannical analogies of the bus-driver, who here is being compared to Adolf Hitler himself.   Did I say two words?.. Sorry. Couldn’t resist.

And this is just one of his works. Imagine the greatness of a man who has managed to put so many critical issues in such an eloquent manner.

I could go on an on, but I do not wish that the reader misses out on exploring Sir Takal all on their own. A chance that everyone must take.

Takal is a genre in itself. Kafkaesque creations seem pale in front of this divine force of literary grandeur.

Some blurbs from some more reputed sources:

  • “This is the 98956’th Indian Origin author that I have been asked to review. Please give me a break. God Damn it.” – Shashi Tharoor.
  • “To reduce such a richly diverse book to a couple of main themes is a disservice, for there is much here to reward the careful reader (notably two startlingly educative essays on the ancient roots of relations between India and China). Particularly pleasurable is Sir Takal’s masterly reclaiming of Rabindranath Tagore’s reputation from the unjust misjudgment of him in the West as a mediocre mystic poet rather than the rationalist and humanist genius and polymath Takal convincingly depicts. But — disservice aside — two principal arguments emerge from this collection: an affirmation of India’s political and cultural heterogeneity, and of the ‘reach of reason’ in India’s intellectual traditions.” – Shashi Tharoor on cannabis.
  • “I think of the glorious Tiananmen square days, when I read Sir Takal’s works.” – Long Dong, The Times of China. he continues, “Actually, I always think of those days.” ,he clarifies.
  • “I so adore Takal because he posts his articles mostly at the break of dawn. I love to wake up and read Takal, with the cup of coffee in my hand. WoW, Sir Takal. You’re totally on my favorites list. ” – Chetan Bhagat.
  • “Pardon me for this infantile indulgence, but pray allow me to savour the poetic mastery of Sir Takal. I fear that if I don’t quantify it into my already vast intellectual cache, I shall miss out on something very special, the stuff that mortals are faintly aware of.” – Noam Chomsky, not on cannabis.
  • “TB rules. TB is my hero. TB is GoD .” – Hashish, The Arizona Daily Star .
  • “Ashish to Ashes, Dust to Dust” – Sir Takal, The Davangere  Daily.

Normally I don’t recommend authors, but in his case, I doubly do so.

Venture into the unknown,

for there is where true beauty lies,

Do not miss this literary Oasis, O’ pensive traveller,

Not a shadow of doubt, I premise.

Holiday Hoo-Hahs

May 23, 2008 at 4:20 pm | Posted in arbit, criticism, Ethics, humour, Linux, narcissism, Technical, travel, Visions | 7 Comments
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I’m a particularly strange person. I don’t like vacations. They seem to drag.
Especially the post-college-no social contact ones.
Makes me feel like a social retard. [ Nice post, dude].
Without much nonsensing, here’s some peculiarly interesting/irritating incidents that happened over the past few weeks.

I arrive back from college. Mom’s lambasting me on my apparently obvious weight-loss. Unlike some hoggers, I lost nearly 5-6 kg’s while at college.
Most relatives think that its due to my burning of the mid-night oil-esque studying.
I don’t like to disturb pretty thoughts.

She proclaims with full gusto. “ Before, you leave for Bangalore, I’ll make sure you gain at least 8-10 kgs.” Its gone off to a point where I actually said,
“ Amma, I’m bored. Eat, Eat, Eat… Give me a break ”.
So, Ladies, the next time you see me, in addition to the awesomely dashing, supremely bright looks, I might also be slightly chubbier. Be prepared, lest you be swept off your feet.
[ ROTFL]

Needless to say, gone are the days when Parle-G used to be my
breakfast/lunch/dinner.

Whole family went on major temple touring. Dharmasthala, Kukke Subrahmanya, Aane Gudde[Near Kundapur], Kota Amritheshwari…. yada yada. I hope that this fulfils my religious affiliations for this year.

Non-faith reasons aside, these visits were still pesky. Getting up at 4 in the morning, AND taking a bath, both on the same day, is quite an ask.

On the Aane Gudde- day, I had only one T-shirt left to wear, and by an act of cosmic co-incidence, it happened to be one with the awesome Black-Sabbath band pic on it. Was laughing to myself at the apparent irony. Mom asked why.Told her about the whole satanic/atheistic stuff about Black Sabbath.
She laughed at my stupidity.
Now, That’s a Wardrobe Malfunction, I feel.

Last year. December to be precise, I went to Strands Book Exhibition in Bangalore. Nice place, books at decent prices. One of the many books that I purchased that day was “The Devil’s Alternative”- by Frederick Forsyth. I finished it last week. Ace book. They even called it unputdownable. But that’s how I read. Shame…

Boarded a bus from the M.G.M stop[ My P.U college, I miss it very much too,
but too much senti is not good, so I skip intro]. The conductor saw me and gave me a C.
That’s a half-ticket in Udupi/Mangalore lingo. There used to be a time, when
my friends and me were immensely pleased at this 1-2 Rs. savings.
But C’mon. At 21? You got to be kidding me. Probably I need to look a bit more refined/mature.
I think I should sport a beard. Maybe I will.

One major improvement over the past vacations, is that I finally am getting to surf through Broadband this time. Dial-Up’s a pain in the Bottom if you ask me. [ Did you spot the pun. Ya right there, that’s it. Read on].

Here, I’d like to mention the extremely suave, gracious BSNL folks who came over to my house, installed the ADSL modem+router, and made sure that the connection’s up n running. Granted, its their job. But, it is nice to see govt. officials who are courteous.
It restores my faith in the system.

Now, I surf at nearly 200+ kbps. And as Dha says, I can now download anything that “tickles my fancy”.

Oh ya. I take only the legally downloadable movies, music, sitcoms, software.
After paying for it, of course.

Ah. My board. With Sarcasm written in large letters. Where’s it?.. Better hold it up high.

A Linux guru from Bengaluru, Atul Chitnis does more justice to BSNL’s efforts.
It is also a stepwise guide to the whole deal of getting a dataone connection.
He’s written it better, hence I won’t dare repeat it here.
Read Maadi. His first opinion on this was cynical, and then he changes his mind in this entry after getting the connection. Likewise in my case.

To Atul : I installed it myself on Linux. You took their help. Ha ha…

P.S

Atul says: kill -9 ‘pidof logik’

This n That…

April 9, 2008 at 11:35 pm | Posted in criticism, Ethics, humour, literary, nitk, Politics | Leave a comment

The SPCB called me yesterday. So here is a round up of some oddities that happened in the past week.

A tiny confession. I’m pretty nonchalant about the Indian political scenario. However, when I was glancing through the online edition of the Times of India[ I’m not keeping well these days 🙂 ], I couldn’t but help notice this.[1]
” Rahul Gandhi washes himself with soap and incense after visiting Dalits”.
Scrolling down to check out the audacious person who could come up with such a statement, I was kinda perturbed to see Ms.Mayawati Naina Kumari’s name.[2]
Ok. Lets analyse this profound political conundrum using the now famous cheapness rating[TM].

The contenders would be
1. Rahul Gandhi[3]: who has allegedly performed ablutions with the choicest of soaps and all the perfumes of Arabia[ An exaggerated Macbeth joke. Pray pardon, and continue reading], in order to sanctify himself from the visit to dalit homes. thereby rendering useless,all the election mileage that he was supposed to get from such random visits, as leader of the youth congress, and general secretary of Indian National Congress, and as Rajiv Gandhi Part II etc.

2. The ever charming Lady, Ms.Maya, a.k.a Pachydermus Proliferatus[4] : For having supposedly found out about innocent Rahul’s bathing rituals,items in his bathroom, and other issues privy to all. Being on the spying side of a phone-tapping controversy seems to have given her some experience. Do we call this tap-tapping now[ for lack of a better pun]?….

A word of advice to Madam Maya. Please do take a bath once in a while. We the electorate are sensible enough not to attribute it to such inane stuff.
Ok, the previous suggestion was a bit hypocritical of me, since I don’t follow the practice of regular bathing myself.
But then, I’m not a dirty politician, am I?….

3. Me: For having dwelled on this bulldung for two whole paragraphs, when the solution was so evident. Mayawati feared losing her prized possession. The dalit votes. Her recent policy, simbly great by any modern politicians standards, seems to be

Brahmin- Harijan Bhai Bhai,
Everyone drinks together Chai.
Swalpa Lingayat and Swalpa Vokkaliga for extra high,
Whaatai, Whaatai..
[5]
Now,lets see.. Where did Rahul go wrong?.This chap is one of the most honest politicians[an oxy moron, sorry] in recent times. Honest maybe not in deeds, but in words at least. The Doon school’s charm is still visible when he speaks. For those are not statements masked with fear of the supreme Holy Mother of congress. He points out critical mistakes in Indian political history, most of them committed by the Nehruvian clan themselves. Pity Kapil Sibal had to bear the brunt of the ever-wicked Karan Thapar, trying to justify such wise thoughts as coming from a kiddish nansy-pansy person.

But, alas. Soon he will be one of them. Already getting diluted, delving deep into election dirt, propagating nonsense, touring every vote-hotspot of India. India has lost one more Leader….

Now, the results.
Its obvious,isn’t it?.. Its my blog;I win…I am the cheapest of them all….

Politics and economics are quite the sapphic pair.So how could I leave her out?
One more news headline…[6] [7]
” Researchers at Wharton Business School have carried out the study and found that inhabitants of richer nations are happier than those of poorer countries”.
or in Noob terms, “Money can Buy you happiness”.
My, My. And it took buggers from Wharton to figure that out?. Wtf.
I’m a pretty fiscally challenged person myself. I would have suggested this much earlier. Damn,
if only I weren’t so frigging busy…

In local news, but of much more value, We the Batch of 2008, were presented with nitk logo-ed silver rings. A symbol to connect us all, the brethren, the sistren, and the couplen.
So after all the possible jokes spanning from Captain Planet, The Ring horror movies, Semi-lewd wedding fundae, Nursery rhymes, Suffe-“ring”[ Sir, You’re the best. We now know where the Nitkian gets his/her Pj’ing spirit from] etc, we set out as blazoned warriors, all ready to face the world in all its glory, or as one friend points out, “To come out in Flying colours”.
Oh.. wait.. There are still some more days left before I spew that…

And, for the outsiders, and the juniors who dint know. EnC Don Ajay the Great, went on to win both the golden medal, and the golden ring. The best outgoing student of our batch. Tronix rocks macchi…

Cheerio…

P.S: Zippidee Doo dah…

Of Morals and everythin’ INCI.. Join the Beat…

March 5, 2008 at 8:50 pm | Posted in arbit, criticism, Ethics, nitk, Visions | 5 Comments

INCIDENT’08, was poised to be the best inci ever[ ya, the same line repeats every year]. More Cash = Better bands,More events,Bigger Prizes,Loads of fun.. INCI discussions started off with the choice of themes. Some frenchie suggestions to the tone of C’est la vie [ That’s life], and “Let there be Delight” were rejected coz they were too corny, or vague. Then someone came up with “Join the beat”. Either that it was too good, or probably that we were running out of time, in any case, this was unanimously chosen. And what with that awesome retro disco lookin brochure backdrop[ I bow to thee, Mashaal n Co, for that n I2J ] to justify it, there was no lookin’ back.


Inci was on…


Publicity[Highest number of participants], Marketing[Largest Budget ever], and a Bindaas website(s)[speechless]..

.….Many months later


Some days before Inci…

Committees assembled. AF starts working on college ambience[ Yes, you folks can brag about it.You rock]. JuggyD’s Master Plans. Soni arranges. Gupta high on LSD
[jus kiddin].

Some intros…

Mulki- son of a beach[ partner in crime]. Budling- Quizzesh, and Littax. P n Me – Birdwatchin, n other mischiefs. [Ya, we were the best, ob. Thnx anyways]. BabukiAand-“Fresh” n Frooty, n always short on coupons. VPdaMan- Jubilant n Responsible. SheldytheBird – SACrificed inebriation. Desai – Hospitalized everyone. Aggarwal- The short Matador. Shenoy – Order ! Order ! MmnOstee Pls. SidDaHermit – Cartman@inci – Super awesome kewl. Appar – DePressed Panda.Devarisi – sirigannadam gelge.G the Hoopla kid – was a treat to see Jinga Play.Murali – Hurrah for Pulse, and easterns.Kattige – Gay-ming .
If your a committee-con and your name isn’t in this all-praising list, either I’m out of lame-puns, or I’ve to belt you for some reason.
Join the Beat.

1. Informalz– Sorry to say, this has been the worst informalz in the incis that I’ve seen, and judging by the remarks of the seniors that happen to visit during inci-time, extends to the incis that I haven’t seen as well. It lacked that pizazz, that extempore nonsense, that knack of keeping the crowd involved, and mostly turned out to be cricketing sessions between committee members. The very fact that NITK junta chose JAM over informals [ which is good btw ] , is proof enough. Anyways, it was way,way better than FREEFALL-which lived upto its name. So, no significant harm done..

2. Xpose & Photography cLub: Due to certain observations made by certain people of merit, this section has been removed. Photography Club simply rocks man.. You guys are the best.. 
3.Inci Force– Last year, the worry was “Who’ll police, the police?”. This year,it was mostly ” Where’s the Police?”.
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It is at this juncture that I sadly mention the cheap, and indecent attitude shown by the NITK crowd towards the Shankar family. We boast of being the best of the best, the cream and other such hogwash, but even that basic civic sense, courtesy towards invited guests is not present here. Some third-rate bastard[ the most appropriate word possible], chooses to insult Jun.Shankar’s sis, n mother. Get some dignity,people. It is highly unfortunate that when I say this to the NITK junta, since I’m one of them, even I’ve to bow down in shame.

Desperation, I call it. Hooting at every other female that comes on stage, with the choicest of words. Ok, almost everyone does it at various degrees. I don’t claim to be a saint either. But, public decorum is what is asked for, and I think we being all intellectually sound, and future responsible societal creatures n all that, should at least keep these tiny facts in mind.

Everything’s never rosy,I agree. But these tiny blemishes stood to ruin such a well crafted fest, and it was something no one wanted. Anyway, people soon realized, and the gem that was Jun.Shankar continued his show. Hats off to you, man. For the full-house show at SJA, and for the packed house Workshop in the morning. We can’t thank you enough.

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Gen Review:

Some critiques are already floating around, the good ones being wanderlust‘s , N.R‘s, n kittis Choose to read them.

Yours truly being the workshops convenor, supported by His Holiness Saint-P, had only one thing in mind before Inci. To bring out a transformation in the way workshops@Inci were perceived by the audience. And if I’m not mistaken, we did succeed[ 5 / 6 🙂 ]. Owing to a brilliant reco from Saranya, a kite making n flying workshop materialized. And kudos to Choukkar for introducing us to a genius in Mr.Akhtar Husein, who conducted the Nature Conservation workshop, the success of which many were skeptical about[ many=me], but in the end turned out to be one interesting session.

Koochie the kid beat me to set up the sand modelling workshop.[ Kannada Sahitya Sammelan, Same spot, One day difference]. I don’t give a damn. It was one of the best fun events this college has seen. Mr. Srinath,Venki n team, from Manipal were very friendly and receptive to our requirements, and spread their message through the huge structure that they’d built.

Sand Model by the professionals

The greatest committee’s extra-ordinary members,generously helped by P’s friends went on to build “The Taj Pyramid”, which saw intermediate forms of the globe, Petronas towers, an Onion, Ditchable Failure, and finally Ta-da….

The Taj PyramidThe Taj Pyramid xtra effectsTa da
The Magic workshop [ All you want to know, but no tricks explained], kept all of us eagerly waiting for the next trick. Jun.Shankar, charming as usual, with his radiant smile, n that spark in his eye, managed to captivate the audience[the female ones, in particular]. We were literally amazed when Ronnie the Great, and Gokul the Bald, performed tricks, using “magical” powers hitherto unknown to them. Ya, sure, We’ll be calling you guys next year.

Magic

Casino Reuda, the weirdest of all names, with the added twist of having a “partner switch” clause attached , turned out to beat all previously held Inci records, and if it were not for the fact that most couples were working in some darn committee, we’d have broken the currently held IE record as well.

As per most accounts, I was shabbily dressed, and did not match in elegance to Her Majesty. Extremely sorry about that.
In any case, it was amazing fun, albeit extremely complex, and that chap shouting insane mexican chants at random times dint help much.

My first western duet dance ever,this is something I shall certainly remember for life. Thank you.

Team Mangalore is one creative bunch of hobby kite enthusiasts, who have been in this field for years now. They had got the largest kite in India, “Kathakali” and we were in awe witnessing its whopping extent. Seeing loads of colourful kites flying above the NITK beach, was truly one beautiful sight. I was running to the beach to catch it, and in the meantime,got some 10 calls to come and check it out. Ya, Mulky , you can give me a treat anytime you want.

The remaining workshop has not been reviewed intentionally.

I thank all of Team workshops, who were there at all times, the work being official, or even stacking up sand, having fun at the beach, or running around to get arbit stuff from random locations. It wouldn’t have been as good, without your support.

Ok, So much for bragging, and pompous claims. Lets start with the Inci review now..

The events that I attended were very few, and I was pretty choosy about them. Qualified in India quiz as a part of the trio [Logikittashish], and came last in the finals[ Drumroll missing]. Really good quiz, but one small piece of advice. Every quizzer in India is not a TAMkid, in case you dint realize. So, while the M.S.S , n Visa Balaji bits were fine, asking trinity questions about Cholan and Pandyan weirdo temples are not. And,before you jump, I don’t know my history, and I don’t give a rat’s bottom.

JAM, this time had house full response, and Brat was surprised to see that. I did not participate, but did something that I love the most. Threw paper balls at Mr.Kaya, along with an accomplice, for something stupid that he uttered.
Highlights: Kaya’s robot dance, the arbit girl forgetting to dance each time, Jenna Jameson in Agra, Attempted Objections to JAM Master flirting excessively with a participant[ did not happen, though].

And Yay, Bharat Darshan was gay.


And I got to see UV dance, which I’d missed during ENGI. It was unique, not the best of things, but certainly well done. Thank you Mr.D, for your request, and for mentioning only workshops in your inaugural speech.

My KK concert, Pulse, Eastern Musical feelings have been sufficiently captured in the posts mentioned above, and also in my comments that follow there. Some left over bits.

All Hail BIT, and that classico-vocal Genius. Pulse –

@ Megha: Whate Voice, lady. You remind me of Ronnie James Dio.

@ TamBrahm Google Kid lookalike alias Death Metal Vocalist: We were completely deceived by your appearance.

@ The guy with the red Jackson Guitar:- Can I have it?

Jackson Guitar

@ Bhoomi’s Lead Guitarist: Applause, Bow, The Corna.

Corna

Some rumours were floating around. Pai is here. Pi is High. Pi is jammin with his new guitar. etc etc.
Happened to meet him at SAC. Apart from that weird beard, he hasn’t changed much. And his lady, the Blue Les Paul was indeed gorgeous. He gave me this Comic-Con badge[ The exhibition that this lucky rat went to, in the U.S].

Comic Con Badge

Ya, It looks worthless, but that’s what all souvenirs are, right. Its the person, and the occasion that makes you keep it. And keep it, I shall.
After chatting for a while, he made a dash for it, luckily missing the Fashion Show in the process.

And finally,To sum it up,

We chose Life, Colours, the sunny side, and to Join the Beat.

Incident will be in our memories for ever, for the efforts that we put in, the masti, the let-your-hair-down-freaking out , childish pranks and sheer dumb guts to reach for everything fun, and succeeding.

37 days remaining, the countdown begins. Was mental before, now senti too…

P.S: I did not mention the inner core, coz INCIDENT’08 speaks for their efforts, and that they would not find it punny.

GOD?

December 22, 2007 at 2:59 pm | Posted in arbit, criticism, Ethics, Visions | 6 Comments

A tricky subject, especially something that I don’t know much about. But, I’m really intrigued by the whole concept. Questions like, What if He did exist , come to mind… Ok, Most of you would have realised that I’ve an atheistic bent of mind. For the rest, here goes, I’m an atheist, i.e , a non-believer in the existence of God, various theologies etc….

But I really love the concept. Having the notion of a supreme controller, the ultimate being, all powerful, all pervading, yada yada..brings in a sense of self-restraint among individuals. But my feeling is that ,when you let your fate to be decided by someone else, only to face the implications, it could either bring in that permanent sense of self-consciousness [ in a bad kinda way], or might make you immensely nonchalant about the whole process.

I have some doubts however. It is often seen in religious books, that God is referred to as “He” [ apparently its blasphemy if you don’t put the capital ‘H’ ]. I wonder why Gods are not represented by ‘She’. But that’s a trivial doubt. One might argue that major prophets, messiahs were male, and keeping with the standard terminology, its ‘He’.

But how foolish must we be to assign such meaningless attributes such as gender, a concept that is so trivially mortal, to a character that we so seriously visualize to be much higher than us.

I believe agnostics are the worst kind of people. The most fickle minded of them all. I have nothing against believers. To each his own. But the kind of people that say.. ” I don’t believe that there is a God or anything , But I do believe that there is a Supreme Force that controls our thoughts and actions, and the universe in general; “. Tell you what… Screw you guys. Get some balls. and jump to one side.

For if the notion of the supreme force were to be remotely true, shouldn’t we refer to God as “It”, with a capital “I”. Examples in religious literature would probably include, “It saves”, ” It will forgive you “, ” It knows what you’re doing ” etc … Man, that would seriously turn some heads, and primarily sound like some corny line from a M.Night.shyamamamalan movie….

Belief is a disposition, not something to be enforced upon. It should be a cumulative set of self reflections that you perceive over time. Something that will make you think about your actions, the consequences, about life, the universe and everything else. If you need a God to guide you on that path, well, good for you. If you somehow think you can manage on your own, that’s good too… But if keep looking for support when you need it, and then be a pompous ass later, you seriously suck….

Ok.. That might have sounded like I was preaching from my bottom. But its an issue that I really like and amd passionate about. Feel free to disagree.

P.S: This post has substituted another ; something that was to be titled “GRE chombu”.. and would complete the chombu trilogy. i.e, GATE, and CAT. But unfortunate for many perverse readers who dwell on other people’s miseries, it was not to be…[ fading drumroll….]…

Cheerio…

To Every Man, His Own

March 3, 2007 at 6:45 am | Posted in criticism, Ethics, Linux, Microsoft, nitk, Visions | Leave a comment

This post is about individual opinions versus mass hysteria. Maintaining your own beliefs [be they right or wrong], Vs accepting some facts given at face-value.

This post is about Linux, and the linux movement in general.

Linux starts off in about 1991-92 by this guy name Torvalds, a modest beginning , just a small USENET boast to claim its existence. Warmly received by the developer community, the open-source elite, and the price-conscious [usually separate people].
Then , people start to realize that their good’ol UNIX skills , can be used to make tremendous improvements to the OS, the looks, the environment, and writing truck-loads of applications.Great Insight.C’mon , you’ve got the kernel files with you to edit. It can’t get better than that.So Prophet Linus Torvalds got this step right.Absolutely Right!.
During all these times [84-2000 somewhere], there was only one famous OS in the junta’s minds, comps, and in the universe[metaphorically speaking].No you Mac Losers,I’m speaking about Windows of-course.Hundreds of Faults, Thousands of Jokes, A Million Bill Gates Hate-Mails, and Billions of Dollars later, it still continues to grow strong[ economically speaking 🙂 ]
The main factors driving people away from the UNIX OS [ the best OS in the universe, no doubts], was the lack of a decent interface, and tougher to use than DOS [ despite what Ken Thompson said]. Sure there were some variants, BSD unix, Solaris etc, but seriously no comments about these, they are almost , if not tougher than UNIX itself, with their mindless self-modifications and needless jargons yada yada.

Fine , thousand points to linux [ the points don’t matter,Please continue].

The main worry , the chief concern , this post’s title is on a different plane altogether.

The main target[ worst word to use, but here goes] , of the open source community is the youth, with its new ideas , visions, zeal etc.Nothing bad about that. Fresh minds , Fresh thoughts. Cool!
The problem is that as soon as people become part of an initiative like this, they tend to impose their views upon people who are yet to see the entire perspective. Unix- Linux developers,and hackers in general, have always been associated with an air of academic/intellectual smugness.The feeling that they are the best is ok, tolerable, but to bluntly tell that others are hopeless.To tell that if you are on the other side , you must be reaaallllly dumb and so on is really not necessary. C’mon dude, give the man a chance to choose.
Then the whole issue comes up, WE ARE NOT LAYMEN! We can work with Linux in a more efficient way. It gives us more powers than Windows ever, ever did. Ok, Good For YOU.But please don’t act like god-damn Linux evangelists. We’ve a lot of dumb prophets already.
And , if linux is good , say why its good. NO regrets.But don’t cut a hundred wise-cracks about windows while doing so. It hurts. Even with the above-mentioned faults, it was still the first OS that we worked on [ lesser mortals like us, not Dennis Ritchie et al]. The emotional attachment, the nostalgia associated is really too much to shed over a small moment of ass-pride.
It’s like a particular race telling we are superior compared to others.

By an independent analysis, I’ve come to the conclusion that , it’s in the inherent nature of minorities to brag about their superiority, about the fact that they are the only ones worthy to occupy the top spot, about the fact they use propaganda to drive more minds, and make them sway to their thoughts. numerous examples in religion [ no more comments] , AMD [ vs intel], Motorola[ vs intel and nokia] and so on can be easily cited. I think you folks get what I’m trying to say.
A significant part of the open-source generation is treading on these lines.The wise have got to stop them. Stallman started off decently, GNU and other fundae were excellent ideas, a beautiful, well co-ordinated project. But now this prophet, speaks about Microsoft on terms of stupidity, about Bill Gates making references to SATAN. Is this all necessary? Can’t these people spend their days just for the betterment of their brain-child projects, instead of wasting their time on such childish moments of small talk.The main intention of Open-Source , the freedom to think, the freedom to choose, the freedom to contribute, is being diluted by such meaning-less acts.
Even without all the monopoly issues, Microsoft still has carved a niche market for itself, thousands of developers who swear by it, millions of people who have got accustomed to it, and love to use it[refer MSDN ]. This is no small feat, and to deny it’s capabilities outrightly is a LAYMAN’s comment. Not something that you expect out of people whom you other-wise respect for many reasons :-).
So to sign off , I’d like to say that give people a chance. Boast about linux , no probs. Just don’t ridicule others[ Users and OS included] .

To every Man, His own. 🙂

Comments:-

Linux Vs Microsoft , The battle continues

January 12, 2007 at 9:49 pm | Posted in Ethics, Linux, Microsoft, Visions | 1 Comment

These are some of my views on the cold war between the two major OS’s of the world , Windows and Linux ( All Flavors included).

  1. Linux is trading its capability to get a share of Windows popularity( Not out of choice obviously). ( There are many new security concerns on linux too,which weren’t there before).
  2. Windows has realised this, and it is now adding features to keep its stronghold in the market

Moral of the Story:- Competition breeds development.

Further Developments/progress possible:-
1.Linux will increase penetration,
Microsoft will reduce costs.

2. Linux will increase publicity.
Microsoft will increase quality.

3. Linux will standardize development.( An organized method of Open -Source)
Microsoft has already started open source, de-centralized initiatives.

Concerns about Linux:
Many of the developments( GUI and tools wise) on LINUX are being inspired by similar ones at windows. Creating similar alternatives on LINUX to existing problems that windows applications face is not advisable.Also it is not a good sign for LINUX.Open-Source should also take on original ideas.

Taking some-one else’s commercial idea, and making it free ( Not as in Free- Beer) is not the Copy Left Policy of GNU-GPL. It has much far-reaching ethical concepts than that. Ethics+original ideas= FREE Software.

And , Linux developers being on the same Boat as FSF, or GNU movement, should adhere to these core ideals, else the whole purpose is lost.

Comments:-

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