This n That…

April 9, 2008 at 11:35 pm | Posted in criticism, Ethics, humour, literary, nitk, Politics | Leave a comment

The SPCB called me yesterday. So here is a round up of some oddities that happened in the past week.

A tiny confession. I’m pretty nonchalant about the Indian political scenario. However, when I was glancing through the online edition of the Times of India[ I’m not keeping well these days 🙂 ], I couldn’t but help notice this.[1]
” Rahul Gandhi washes himself with soap and incense after visiting Dalits”.
Scrolling down to check out the audacious person who could come up with such a statement, I was kinda perturbed to see Ms.Mayawati Naina Kumari’s name.[2]
Ok. Lets analyse this profound political conundrum using the now famous cheapness rating[TM].

The contenders would be
1. Rahul Gandhi[3]: who has allegedly performed ablutions with the choicest of soaps and all the perfumes of Arabia[ An exaggerated Macbeth joke. Pray pardon, and continue reading], in order to sanctify himself from the visit to dalit homes. thereby rendering useless,all the election mileage that he was supposed to get from such random visits, as leader of the youth congress, and general secretary of Indian National Congress, and as Rajiv Gandhi Part II etc.

2. The ever charming Lady, Ms.Maya, a.k.a Pachydermus Proliferatus[4] : For having supposedly found out about innocent Rahul’s bathing rituals,items in his bathroom, and other issues privy to all. Being on the spying side of a phone-tapping controversy seems to have given her some experience. Do we call this tap-tapping now[ for lack of a better pun]?….

A word of advice to Madam Maya. Please do take a bath once in a while. We the electorate are sensible enough not to attribute it to such inane stuff.
Ok, the previous suggestion was a bit hypocritical of me, since I don’t follow the practice of regular bathing myself.
But then, I’m not a dirty politician, am I?….

3. Me: For having dwelled on this bulldung for two whole paragraphs, when the solution was so evident. Mayawati feared losing her prized possession. The dalit votes. Her recent policy, simbly great by any modern politicians standards, seems to be

Brahmin- Harijan Bhai Bhai,
Everyone drinks together Chai.
Swalpa Lingayat and Swalpa Vokkaliga for extra high,
Whaatai, Whaatai..
[5]
Now,lets see.. Where did Rahul go wrong?.This chap is one of the most honest politicians[an oxy moron, sorry] in recent times. Honest maybe not in deeds, but in words at least. The Doon school’s charm is still visible when he speaks. For those are not statements masked with fear of the supreme Holy Mother of congress. He points out critical mistakes in Indian political history, most of them committed by the Nehruvian clan themselves. Pity Kapil Sibal had to bear the brunt of the ever-wicked Karan Thapar, trying to justify such wise thoughts as coming from a kiddish nansy-pansy person.

But, alas. Soon he will be one of them. Already getting diluted, delving deep into election dirt, propagating nonsense, touring every vote-hotspot of India. India has lost one more Leader….

Now, the results.
Its obvious,isn’t it?.. Its my blog;I win…I am the cheapest of them all….

Politics and economics are quite the sapphic pair.So how could I leave her out?
One more news headline…[6] [7]
” Researchers at Wharton Business School have carried out the study and found that inhabitants of richer nations are happier than those of poorer countries”.
or in Noob terms, “Money can Buy you happiness”.
My, My. And it took buggers from Wharton to figure that out?. Wtf.
I’m a pretty fiscally challenged person myself. I would have suggested this much earlier. Damn,
if only I weren’t so frigging busy…

In local news, but of much more value, We the Batch of 2008, were presented with nitk logo-ed silver rings. A symbol to connect us all, the brethren, the sistren, and the couplen.
So after all the possible jokes spanning from Captain Planet, The Ring horror movies, Semi-lewd wedding fundae, Nursery rhymes, Suffe-“ring”[ Sir, You’re the best. We now know where the Nitkian gets his/her Pj’ing spirit from] etc, we set out as blazoned warriors, all ready to face the world in all its glory, or as one friend points out, “To come out in Flying colours”.
Oh.. wait.. There are still some more days left before I spew that…

And, for the outsiders, and the juniors who dint know. EnC Don Ajay the Great, went on to win both the golden medal, and the golden ring. The best outgoing student of our batch. Tronix rocks macchi…

Cheerio…

P.S: Zippidee Doo dah…

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