Turing Machines and extreme irritation

April 25, 2008 at 10:54 am | Posted in arbit, humour, nitk, Technical, travel | Leave a comment
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/* The F word will be used 3 times in this post, for completely appropriate reasons. Kindly close your eyes just before u pass over it. Thank you */

Well, I was on my way to good ol’ Bengalooru on some work. In this bus called Indira Travels….
Well, I dint find her, but anyways, this is what happened.

Some of my brilliant NITKian Juniors were here,
filled with placement fear,
Oh. Dear Dear….

These buggers are discussing about Turing machines, and other algos. Various placement related stuff.
[ I’d give a million to anyone who’d guess their branch]

Well, to this particular chap, I pose a question.

” It is 5.45 in the morning. You have a 80 decibel voice, and you’re shouting at an angle of 60 deg relative to your seat, about turing bullcrap. Exactly how many people are you annoying? ”

Answer: The whole fucking bus…..

Well, if you want to understand Turing Machines, I’d love to teach you.
An awesome description by my friend- Junior- con- comps don – Anirudh
” Turing Machines should be called “SlideFuck” , you know like ” BrainFuck” ,
but this time, with only two symbols, “left” and right”.

There, you nasty sucker… got that…..
If you still have a doubt, then ” One tight slap“.

Cheerio

P.S: I know who you are…. [ grin]

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Sakku Tetris

April 22, 2008 at 5:21 am | Posted in arbit, humour, Linux, literary, nitk, Technical, Visions | 1 Comment
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Narcissism should be the state religion.

Some 6 months ago, Sakku Tetris [ Sakkut ™ ], a weapon of mass distraction
was unleashed upon hapless nerds of NITK by the cranberry Zombie
a.k.a The Ghost who Codes, or more popularly known in dcpp circles
as RatPoizon.

Random announcement: Tetris is a part of the bsd-games packaged
in the great archlinux.
[I swear, evil-chappar-sense
asked me to add that. Evangelism at its core].

Sure, we’ve all used those hand-helds before. What was it.. Ah . Yes. Brick game.

Laying bricks[ a term totally ripped by Ali G btw], in search for that
elusive long bar, that would just give it to the huge pile that you’d
meticulously planned, with just that one column space. An lo, behold.
Crasheth thy tower, Gaineth thou points.

But there is no fun in that now, is it?… Along came Skld. With his generous
spirit and cranberry heart, he sets up this amazing tetris server in a jiffy.
That too with all sorts of high score updates, linearly graded levels with
higher rewards and ball-shattering speeds.

The best part about Sakkut ™ is that there is no need to complete the tetris.
The faster you get em’ bricks down , the faster you earn, and the earlier
you f’kup and leave.

Now, you might be wondering. Why the fudge is this chap blabbering
about a game that even my dad would consider Victorian?

Aha. I happen to be the highest scorer, my dear… and a whopping 30k+ at that.

For the ones that did not understand even a single word until now, here’s the post in
Sakkut ™ for Dummies Picture Edition
.

Putty SSh
That, my friends is PuTTY, one of the best ssh, telnet clients out there.
Use this for tetris.
Why?
cmd sucks. and this terminal window looks way better.
Once this is done, you’re hooked up with Sakku’s comp.
Id Unta swamy?..
Login Skalar

Look at that picture carefully. Wtf. Colour ASCII Art, that too with your alias. Dude. Its 2008… Wake up…
And speaking of aliases, how many do you have, man?…

Once you’re in, all that strikes you is one illustrious list of extraordinary gentlemen who have dedicated their precious NITKian schedules towards Sakkut ™.
Several cold wars, semi-trained Zulu Dances and a cut-throat competition in 8th block has led to the compilation of this awesome list.

High Scores and News

Lets dwell on this page for a while [ grin]…
8 out of top 10 scores. 30k. Not bad. Mission accomplished.
The 28k score happened to be when I was in a major inebriated state.
[ There, the first time that I’ve mentioned that I was high, on my blog.
I will not even attempt to chronicle my stupid endeavours under
the influence of substances.
Self Suck-Dingy…. ]
For details read N.R’s alcohol blog.

A new section started by the Rat. For practical purposes, lets call it the tetris blog.
Or shall we call it the Never come out the room-Yet report sensational news- Journalism?.. Hmmm…

Ranging from motivational speeches to Soma/me during the famous
( Sakkut ™ Wars )
, to kick-in-the butt orders for Dha to join, or claims that a certain evil soul did some nasty hacking, or arbit couplish stuff, that only the gossip-freaks would be bothered with….

The best part about Soma’s style of playing was the cool and the panache with
which he deftly manoeuvred.
@ Soma:- It’s lonely at the top…. [ evil laughter]…
The modest Rat however fails to mention that he himself is an accomplished player, however owing to the sudden influx of jobless junta, he fails to appear more than once in that list.

Now the golden moment. What lies within such a heavily guarded fortress, so charmingly entwined with the tales of the geeks, so dazzlingly depicting the brilliant set of conquerors?…..
Well, Sakkut ™ of course….

What is provided here is a sample of the way the game ought to be played. It might appear too fast, and could be confused for an animation gimmick. Well, lets be frank here.
There was some post processing. Irfan view is an awesome image editing software, and a new discovery advp does a good job at creating animated gif’s. But having screen captures at 1 sec intervals, what with that piece of software running on my lousy Tony, some glitches/ time lapses are bound to happen.
What is interesting is the level of F’kup’s that happen in level 9. One mistake, and Sayonara…
Without further ado, a humble demo…

Game on
Tiny things in life bring you the greatest of joys. Sakkut ™ was my companion during many a stressful days.
j-k-l-space
The keys to freedom.Finally I would like to sign off with a adapted quote from the best movie ever made. Yup. The Shawshank Redemption[ Suck on it, Godfather fans].

" Prison time is slow time.Sometimes it feels like stop-time.
So you do what you can to keep going...
Some fellas collect stamps.Others build matchstick houses.
Andy built a library."

Logik , Soma, Dha, RatPoizon, and evilsense played Sakkut ™.

Thanks to Dha for this. It taught me how to use animated gif's in blogs.
Thanks to Google for being there as always. Thanks to Photobucket
and Imageshack for hosting.
And readers, watch this image, while I make a silent exit.

Narcissus
Kudos to John Battelle for being the first John on Google when searched for John. Yup, he beat John's Gospel, John Lennon, John F.Kennedy , John Deere and John Abraham too.... And juniors, might want to set up their own Sakkut ™. We are alumni now.......... P.S: My Blogger theme sucks. All those awesome animated gif's that took me ages to prepare have been mercilessly chopped off.A better way to read an elegant looking post would be to subscribe to my rss feed via Google reader, or via the email service provided by feedburner. [ Marketing is the cheapest job genre ever.....] P.P.S: WordPress sucks,, a bit lesser though. Lesser chopping. P.P.P.S: This is getting irritating, isn't it.... Cheerio

This n That…

April 9, 2008 at 11:35 pm | Posted in criticism, Ethics, humour, literary, nitk, Politics | Leave a comment

The SPCB called me yesterday. So here is a round up of some oddities that happened in the past week.

A tiny confession. I’m pretty nonchalant about the Indian political scenario. However, when I was glancing through the online edition of the Times of India[ I’m not keeping well these days 🙂 ], I couldn’t but help notice this.[1]
” Rahul Gandhi washes himself with soap and incense after visiting Dalits”.
Scrolling down to check out the audacious person who could come up with such a statement, I was kinda perturbed to see Ms.Mayawati Naina Kumari’s name.[2]
Ok. Lets analyse this profound political conundrum using the now famous cheapness rating[TM].

The contenders would be
1. Rahul Gandhi[3]: who has allegedly performed ablutions with the choicest of soaps and all the perfumes of Arabia[ An exaggerated Macbeth joke. Pray pardon, and continue reading], in order to sanctify himself from the visit to dalit homes. thereby rendering useless,all the election mileage that he was supposed to get from such random visits, as leader of the youth congress, and general secretary of Indian National Congress, and as Rajiv Gandhi Part II etc.

2. The ever charming Lady, Ms.Maya, a.k.a Pachydermus Proliferatus[4] : For having supposedly found out about innocent Rahul’s bathing rituals,items in his bathroom, and other issues privy to all. Being on the spying side of a phone-tapping controversy seems to have given her some experience. Do we call this tap-tapping now[ for lack of a better pun]?….

A word of advice to Madam Maya. Please do take a bath once in a while. We the electorate are sensible enough not to attribute it to such inane stuff.
Ok, the previous suggestion was a bit hypocritical of me, since I don’t follow the practice of regular bathing myself.
But then, I’m not a dirty politician, am I?….

3. Me: For having dwelled on this bulldung for two whole paragraphs, when the solution was so evident. Mayawati feared losing her prized possession. The dalit votes. Her recent policy, simbly great by any modern politicians standards, seems to be

Brahmin- Harijan Bhai Bhai,
Everyone drinks together Chai.
Swalpa Lingayat and Swalpa Vokkaliga for extra high,
Whaatai, Whaatai..
[5]
Now,lets see.. Where did Rahul go wrong?.This chap is one of the most honest politicians[an oxy moron, sorry] in recent times. Honest maybe not in deeds, but in words at least. The Doon school’s charm is still visible when he speaks. For those are not statements masked with fear of the supreme Holy Mother of congress. He points out critical mistakes in Indian political history, most of them committed by the Nehruvian clan themselves. Pity Kapil Sibal had to bear the brunt of the ever-wicked Karan Thapar, trying to justify such wise thoughts as coming from a kiddish nansy-pansy person.

But, alas. Soon he will be one of them. Already getting diluted, delving deep into election dirt, propagating nonsense, touring every vote-hotspot of India. India has lost one more Leader….

Now, the results.
Its obvious,isn’t it?.. Its my blog;I win…I am the cheapest of them all….

Politics and economics are quite the sapphic pair.So how could I leave her out?
One more news headline…[6] [7]
” Researchers at Wharton Business School have carried out the study and found that inhabitants of richer nations are happier than those of poorer countries”.
or in Noob terms, “Money can Buy you happiness”.
My, My. And it took buggers from Wharton to figure that out?. Wtf.
I’m a pretty fiscally challenged person myself. I would have suggested this much earlier. Damn,
if only I weren’t so frigging busy…

In local news, but of much more value, We the Batch of 2008, were presented with nitk logo-ed silver rings. A symbol to connect us all, the brethren, the sistren, and the couplen.
So after all the possible jokes spanning from Captain Planet, The Ring horror movies, Semi-lewd wedding fundae, Nursery rhymes, Suffe-“ring”[ Sir, You’re the best. We now know where the Nitkian gets his/her Pj’ing spirit from] etc, we set out as blazoned warriors, all ready to face the world in all its glory, or as one friend points out, “To come out in Flying colours”.
Oh.. wait.. There are still some more days left before I spew that…

And, for the outsiders, and the juniors who dint know. EnC Don Ajay the Great, went on to win both the golden medal, and the golden ring. The best outgoing student of our batch. Tronix rocks macchi…

Cheerio…

P.S: Zippidee Doo dah…

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