The Chronicles of Bengaluru Part I : The CAT

November 20, 2007 at 7:38 am | Posted in arbit, humour, literary, Technical, travel | 4 Comments

Listening to:- Harry ChapinCAT’s in the cradle.

Disclaimer:- No cats were harmed during the making of this post.

Management is an illusionary subject.It gives you dreams, the whole ” I’m the Boss ” feeling, and that fat cheque too. The IIM brand is something too powerful to resist, and every TDH wants a share of the pie. And what does he/she have to do for this?. Pretty simple actually. Get through an exam , some GD’s and interviews later, and IIM it is.
All’s well, but 2.5 lakh buggers think the same.

So here I was , in good olBengaluru to write an entrance exam which goes by the name of Common Aptitude Test.
Let me clarify some things. I DID NOT PREPARE. I DON’T GIVE A DAMN. It was something close to a timepass kinda situation. But some funny and/or noteworthy incidents made this trip memorable.

Lots of plans were made well before the exam, though daily fluctuating, finally turned out to be great.Plans regarding Birthday celebrations, Bangalore roaming, place of stay, things to purchase, and last and definitely the least , about the actual exam.

Infinite thanks to Saranya for allowing me n tarkari to stay at her place. You Rock..

Now that the MangaloreBengaluru trip sucks big-time, its a pain to travel.Landed at 10a.m, and was in Jayanagar by 4.00..Was hopelessly lost, yet managed to come to a landmark location. Saranya then came cruising on her Rambo [ that’s an activa , not a horse btw ] to pick me up. So I was finally there. There was a brief intro session, and after we and her parents got acquainted, we started timepassing over the T.V.

The day before any major exam, people usually turn into scaredyCATs, and usually behave like a CAT on hot bricks. We , went out to eat. Jayanagar, is thankfully, still a great place to hang out, what with Cool-joints, hot-chips etcetera.

Around an hour before midnight, we felt it was our moral obligation as studious souls to see what this exam is actually about. So glancing through T.I.M.E, we managed to know the names of the sections of the exam, which was really helpful. So, if, … if… any result actually comes out of this, then-IN YOUR FACE, Two-year sloggers.

An interesting co-incidence , was that the day of the exam [ 18th november] , happened to be her B’day. So in spite of repeated warnings to sleep asap, we decided to stay up late. We dint dare give any GPL’s, for fear of being kicked out of the house, and also coz it was a favour returned 🙂 [ thanks ], but wished her none the less.

A warning to all readers who might come across a situation of sleeping in the same room as Anup [ pai, et al ], He snores…I dint have a decibel meter on me, but it sure kept me awake through the night, fully prepared for the adventures on the next day. And the one hour that I actually got a faint hint of what could be perceived as sleep, was disturbed by his lousy alarm. Whate friend.

So on the big-day, we set out as heroes about to face the greatest test, with nothin to shield us from the horrors that lay ahead. After adequate styling, n the sumptuous breakfast, we took our route info from her parents, and embarked on the journey that would last around 4 hours, and would in no manner change our lives in anyway.
Wishes for good luck kept pouring in. I wish they knew.

My center was at The OXFORD College of Engineering, Hosur Road. Give it to the nature of intrepid bangaloreans to name their two-penny institutions after great university towns. The result – Oxford P.U.College, Cambridge Higher Primary, and Stanford English school, gorguntepalya. Ya, I know the branding helps in fooling the junta, but ain’t there a limit? The situation is very similar to MIT – ” Manipal Institute of technlogy“, ” Moodlakatte Institute of technology”, blah blah.

And the hopelessly lost person that I am, the only thing missing in this adventure was a mix-up. And I had to do that too. So, the second I mentioned Oxford, the rickshaw chap took me to oxford group of institutions. And that was a sodding center too. Met snigdha there. Thankfuly she realised that this ain’t my center, and in about 5 minutes so did I.

Due to meticulous planning, and the above mentioned snoring effects, we’d left pretty early. So there was ample time for me to rush to the actual center. Roads are something to be proud of in Bangalore. Ditto about the auto-drivers[ except the last one]. I was there with 20 mins to spare.
Just then wanderlust messages me good luck, n asks about my center. Apparently she came to know of my blunder , courtesy snigdha, and the fact that oxford school was her alma mater. I was actually surprised when she told bout the j.p.nagar mistake, and was foolish enough to assume that it could be a common blunder.

About my actual center, nice place. Huge campus. and lots of cat junta. Met arkesh, mysore n zulla. Zulla with his usual charm told that he was high the previous day. Went inside the exam hall, to witness something really surprising.

Apparently as a part of a scientific experiment on gullible individuals, the campus management had decided to play music via the personal address system, in the tension filled moments before the exam. And the playlist– ” Nagumomu Ganaleni “, ” Brahmam Okatey” , ” Krishna nee begane baro” etc. The junta was furious, and apparently the experiment had not had its effect. The general complaint was that it was classical. I frowned that it was fusion 🙂 ; Finally an amicable solution was sought, that being no music would be played during the exam. Duh ..

For me it was the first cat paper. No simcats, aimcats, tomcats etc, so I friggin‘ dint care for a pattern change, but apparently the old-timer female sitting next to me guessed it was a screwing paper, the moment we got it. And she was right.

Having lost touch attempting quality math, the quant section became pretty time-consuming. I was not aware of strategies, and went about solving each and every question, like the naive kid that I am. Verbals was a breeze , atleast that’s the hope. The section that people were fearing the most , Data interpretation turned out to be very easy. Too simple infact. But, owing to my excessive interest in going through the poetry in the verbal section, I couldn’t manage enough time to do justice to the D.I.

So after the gruelling few hours, I left Oxford for good. Came back to saranya’s place. A great birthday feast was waiting for us. Watched the all-time awesome movie – DON [ the non-lame, original version]. Some timepassing in jayanagar later, with a healthy mixture of purchasing n window-shopping. The day was about to end. We bade farewell to our generous hosts, and set out, as shadows in the night, not knowing which direction the majestic – MAJESTIC lies.

Concluding remarks:- We were really grateful that this year the CAT was not let out of the bag. Ok. Enough of catty idioms. Time for me to sign off.

Listening to:- Kishore Kumar – CAT… CAT…CAT.. Maane billi..


More Crap…..

November 7, 2007 at 9:11 am | Posted in arbit, criticism, literary, Visions | Leave a comment

Why do people rant? Why? Why?…. I always believe, don’t keep complaining about stuff- Be the change.
If something is utter bull-shit, make it better.. Then some might brightly point out. What about this blog?… Well, can’t you see? I’m working on it…
True, this stuff might seem like its nonsense, and the only part that made some sense to you was the fact that I just said ” its nonsense”, but c’mon give me a break.
Lots of people have said lots of things about the way I write, the way I talk, and basically ‘the way I am’ . Constructive criticism aside, its most to do with Reductio ad Hitlerum , with people spewing comments just because I’ve something to do with it. Screw you guys.
True this may not be a web-log [ blog for short ] , in its truest definition, coz I dont tend to spill out my deepest secrets, personal cravings, morbid fascinations , erudite memoirs , or the likes… But seriously, who cares.
Its free webspace. Its between me and google, me and wordpress , whatever. Who the hell are you to bother, what I do with it?.
Oh. But I do…. coz you, my readers, the esteemed audience , the all-mighty critics have looked down upon my works as if it were scum of the universe types. Where have I gone wrong?
I write for myself, but it’d surely help if some pitiful soul glances over this once in a while and gives his two-penny’s worth of comments, over what’s good , and what’s bad, but most importantly what’s ugly .

A great quote from South Park comes to mind:- ” If you don’t crap the crap , then it is not a crap”. It makes no sense what so ever, and is not the least bit related to this article. I just included it coz it was in the same episode as the title of this post.

See, here’s where the problem lies in. I deviate a lot. With lots of earth-shattering, ball-breaking views with me, I tend not to express it so well, as to convey anything significantly meaningful to the other end. Maybe I’ve got to change.Maybe I will….

The thing is this :- any piece of writing that happens to be one of your contributions, be it this blog, some essay, a poem , or even a well-thought and painstakingly edited article on Wikipedia. When I see some illogical, irrational , and mainly stupid remarks about them, under a thin veil of constructive criticism, it just drives me insane. I’m sure some of you’d agree. To the others , sod off 🙂 ;

See, I managed a successful rant. I’m one of you now…. See, what you’ve turned me into, you lousy freaks.

P.S :- The author of this article was in perfectly sober conditions when this master-piece was created. Any signs of temporary lunacy, or influences of intoxications maybe attributed to his natural charisma. Thank you, one and all for having made it this far. Till next time -> Get lost.

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